10 Oct 2007
We all think of children as flowers and treat them like an extremely delicate piece of ice sculpture. We fuss if they skip a meal or two. We feel absolutely helpless when they are sick. Change our entire TV/movie habits so that our children are not exposed inappropriate content. Watch what we talk in their presence. Worry if a new routine (like the mother going back to work/child starting school or day care/siblings) would scar them for the rest of their lives. All parents have an in built reflux that wants to reach out and wipe away all their child’s misery. But are they really that delicate? The truth is children are pretty resilient. Much resilient than what we give them credit for!
I was reading about Dr.Mario Capecchi, co-winner of 2007 Nobel Prize for Medicine. His incredible contribution to genetics is inspiring and brings hope to those who have complicated diseases running in the family. But what really left me speechless and set those wheels in my head turning was his childhood.
Dr.Capecchi was born in 1937 out of wedlock to American born Lucy Ramberg and an Italian airman who was later reported missing in action. His mother was anti-fascist and was sent to the Dachau concentration camp when Mario was just four years old. His mother had expected this to happen at some point of time, so she had liquidated her assets and had left the money with an Italian agricultural family and had made arrangements for the family to take care of her son. Mario still remembers the day ‘they came to take his mother away’. Unfortunately the money ran out in a year and the family could no longer take care of the little boy. This five-year-old child was left in the streets to fend for himself. For four years this child begged, stole and managed to survive on the streets of war ravaged Italy. After the war his mother, who had somehow survived Dachau found him in a hospital, malnourished, all skin and bones and mother and son were reunited. After the boy regained his strength, which took him a year owing to chronic malnourishment, they moved to United States. In the US, the boy was sent to the third grade. But he could not read or write English, Italian was his only means of communication. His teacher came up with a wonderful method of communicating through drawings. What words couldn’t accomplish, a piece of paper and pencil did. The boy slowly learned English, was soon elected the leader of his class, thanks to his street smartness, did his BS in Antioch College, successfully completed his research in biophysics in Harvard and is currently the co-chairman of the department of human genetics in University of Utah.
If asked to list the factors contributing to Mario’s success, I would say resilience, happy childhood till his mother was taken away, his mother’s role in his life, his teacher.
RESILIENCE
I have a few theories on resilience, just my ideas, haven’t found any research data to back it up.
*I personally think children are born with resilience.
*The degree of resilience varies from child to child – the early childhood experiences contribute to this varying degree.
*Resilience is strongly linked with self-confidence.
*His degree of resilience is a strong indicator of supreme intelligence.
As is, it must have been an abnormal experience to be the child of unwed mother in 1937. Also his mother taking an active part in the anti-fascist movement must have definitely thrown a new set of variables in to the equation. To be able to see through times of distress and keep the mind focused on the logistics of what has to be done rather than succumbing to fear – all this in a four/five year old?! To what extent a four year old could have understood and absorbed the complex social and political turmoil? Maybe the child’s innocence must have been a protective factor. Especially in social situations involving his mother’s unwed status.
HAPPY CHILDHOOD
Mario, as a child must have had wonderful, healthy, happy and enriching experience in the first four years of his life. His mother must have made him felt welcome and given him a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. Those four years on the streets, when everything was working against him, when thousands and thousands of children died because of starvation and violence, the only thing that must have kept this child going must have been the resilience provided by the happy moments in the first four years of his life. Every time he was faced with something terrible, he must have focused on the happy moments, invoked his patronomus and some how managed to survive it.
HIS MOTHER
Mario’s mother must have been one strong lady. Holding a political stand even if it meant going to the concentration camp, surviving Dachau, looking for her son in every hospital in Italy with the hope of finding her son, amazing!
HIS TEACHER
Not but not the least, Mario’s teacher definitely demonstrated a sheer stroke of genius. This must have been one violent kid with deep survival instinct, with the kind of experience that no other third grader in his class would have had, not able to communicate and she did not give up on him. She got through to him by communicating through pictures.
Some interesting links:
About Dr.Capecchi
http://capecchi.genetics.utah.edu/capecchi.html
http://science.monstersandcritics.com/features/article_1363551.php/Profile_Mario_Capecchi_from_street_child_to_Nobel_Prize_winner
About resilience
I was doing a little research on the net and found that teaching children resilience is now becoming a ‘movement’!
http://www.voicesforchildren.ca/report-Nov2003-1.htm
http://resilnet.uiuc.edu/library/grotb95b.html
18 Responses for "Resilience in Children"
Wonderful write-up.
Slightly disappointed that you are reading intellectual stuff now. 😉
Wow UTBT. That was such a thought provoking and enlightening article. All through, I just felt so intensely sad for the 5 year old Capecchi fending for himself on the streets. I just cannot imagine how a child that age could have done it, well loved in the first 4 years or otw.
Very well analysed by you. Maybe you can do a followup post on how to inculcate resilience in children. That would be very informative.
That was one interesting analysis UTBT. It is very interesting, the way you analyze that resilience may be an indication of intelligence. But is there a way to find out if how resilient our child is – Nobody would want their child to go through a traumatic or frightening experience. His Mom and teacher sure were great ladies from what I read in the wikipedia article. Thanks for sharing this and like Tharini says , you should probably post a folllow-up for this article.
Loved the post and your analysis. Brings out the best in you 🙂
Read the article in the last link you have mentioned. Liked the I HAVE, I AM, I CAN model. Nothing new in it, but putting it into a model makes it easy to handle situations.
Deeptrance, thanks. The song I am currently listening to – ‘yen chella peru apple yennai size-a kadichukko. yen sondha ooru ooty, yennai sweater pottukko’. I have a long way to intellectualism. BTW, I like your profile picture.
Tharini, it is sad a picture indeed. But in this case, we know the end result, so it a feel good message.
Mnamma, Tharini – Will be happy to do a follow-up. I have already started collecting information for that.
WoW! Very impressive and interesting. Please do a follow up article like Tharini and mnamma have requested on resilience – it will help loads of us 🙂 Thanks for the wonderful and thought provoking post.
My aunt usually keeps telling me that children are sturdy little things and they know very well to take care of themselves. It is we that worry so much over them 🙂
COS, thanks. Your aunt is a wise woman.
Ddmom, thanks.
wow. lovely post. has gotten me thinking. A lot.
A very inspiring, thought provoking and heart touching post.
I felt like being in a lecture class, listening to you.
Thumbs up.
(yeah..my first comment here though I have dropped by couple of times)
the story is so moving. I feel like there’s a message for me in here.
look forward to the followup (I take it you will also post how moms need to get more resilient!)
Wonderful post. Makes one think doesn’t it? Am I over protecting thambi? Should I just let me be? I don’t know…only time will answer my questions and in the meantime, I can continue to feed, clothe and teach him skills to survive…but the rest is in his hands and in what destiny has planned for him
Shobana
Very much needed post UTBT. Just yesterday, I was arguing with my mom, when she was telling me not to spend too much on the toys. I was going to give away Nikki’s old toys and buy new ones appropriate for his age. She was narrating how she brought up the 3 of us, without any kind of house help, how we were potty trained before 1, started eating on our own from 1.5 years, how much better the kitchen utensils are for playing, teething, exploring than the lead-painted toys you get at stores, etc. etc. All this pampering and mollycoddling is not good and that they should be exposed to everything. A smack or two when things go out of hand, little bit of violence (i was asking her not to narrate panchatantra stories where there will be killing) will not do any harm. Hmm.
Nice thought provoking post UTBT. When B and I were discussing this story two nights back, we were talking about the exact thing you mention here – resilience. He was telling how scary the world out there is…and inspite of it all Dr.C made it. I too said the same thing – it goes to show how resilient children are and can be given a chance. I also sometimes feel there is some divinity at work here – somehow genius survives all odds and come out – Dr.C…our own Ramanujan who had absolutely no one to tlak to about his work, no nurturing of any sort…yet his genius survived…
And as you have noticed – there is the parenting/genetics. The mom must have been very brave and the child would have imbibed it. We are unable to take the risk and leave things to chance – hence we become protective. A little too much at times. We ourselves live in pretty secure sorroundings – so we are not able to be thick skinned about situations we face or what we expose our children to.
It is not about punishing them when they do wrong – that won’t make them resilient. It is about nurturing them and their strengths and making them believe in themselves – that will give them the confidence to survive against all odds.
Children are resilient – it is when they grow up that experiences they go through either instill fear in them or make them feel diffident. A child doesn’t hesitate to ask any question he wonders about…to any one pretty much. But the same child may start feeling embarassed about it if the parents make him feel stupid each time he does something wrong or doesn’t understand something…
Anyway – I have so many thoughts on this – I should just do a post instead of going on and on in your comment space.
UTBT showing her true colors!! You go girl!!! It was a very thought provoking post!
Great post, dear! Even though I have nt been able to put it in words, your first paragraph is what I think about a lot of times and Im the kind of mom who does nt worry too much about how my child is going to adjust in a new place. Its not a conscious thing. The worrying might be genetic as well as my mom is quite carefree and I guess either I inherited it or am inspired by her.
I was talking to friends today about how my parents did nt speak any English at home or read me any books but that did nt matter much, has it? And with the same kind of parents and parenting style, Sis and I are as different as chalk and cheese. What do you say about that? Im all confused about the term parenting and really wonder if “we” matter at all!!! May be just to provide food and shelter, perhaps? 😉
‘It is not about punishing them when they do wrong – that won’t make them resilient. It is about nurturing them and their strengths and making them believe in themselves – that will give them the confidence to survive against all odds.’
Noon – sorry about copy-pasting from your comment but I bow to thee! You said it girl!
Noon, looking fwd to your post.
Boo, that is not true. Even if the conditions/environment is the same, every child is different. Some of it is genetic and some of it is conditioned/learned by the child’s perception of the environment. So even IF(coming to this ‘if’ soon) you and your sister had the same kind of experience, the way you ingested the information contributes to who you are now. Secondly, even if it appears that you two had the same experience, it is hardly that! A parent can never provide the same experience to all their children. This is again driven by the nature of the child and the parent’s perception of the child. I could go on an on about this and still sound as confusing!
Yaadayaada, Dotmom thanks.
Upsi welcome. Did I mention that I was rolling on the floor in splits(…hmmm during my class) after read you ‘Hairy tale’. The professor was wondering if the demo flash animation he created was really that funny! 🙂
Anitha, your mom got me thinking. I try to modify mythology stories when I tell them to Chula. (chk out http://utbtkids.wordpress.com/2007/04/22/mythology/)The idea is death is hard to explain to a 33 month old. But thinking again, may be I am the one who fears death and violence and trying to shield my child from what I fear! May be I must slowly start introducing death in a positive light. About toys, its material for a whole new post – how present day toys iare killing the imagination of a child. Will try to collect my thoughts for a post about the two.
K’s mom, that is the toughest part, cos moms are designed to worry! Partly because we do not see tangible results for our actions, partly because it is genetic. All the time it is an internal war, ‘Do I take this seriously or let it go? By letting it go am I ignoring some kind of message the child is giving me?’ Don’t worry, we will get there when we get there.
Shobana, we all have the right intentions and only time will tell if we are over protecting or children or not!
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