My mom is from a big family. She has one older brother and four younger sisters. My aunts and uncle put together I have 6 cousins on my mother’s side. My dad has one older brother, one older sister and one younger sister. Again, 6 cousins from my father’s side. But there is a messy family politics(MUCH messier in my mother’ side than my father’s side) involved, in to which I choose not to dwell. Inspite of having shared the same womb, same blood, the extent to which the siblings would go to spite one another was something that scared (or should I say scarred) me for life. Through out school life, I missed having a sibling around. When you really want something, life has a way of giving it you. In my case, life gave me four( 3 + 1*) great friends. You know the coolest part? I could share good feelings, my sorrows, without having to share material things. Yippeee! Every thing has a silver lining folks, E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G 🙂

Chula and Mieja 15 months apart and being the same sex, one doubt I had in my mind was – these girls are going to be competing for the same resources for the rest of their lives. That scared me. I do not want them to nurse grudges and let jealousy ruin their relationship.

One of my attempt to foster attachment is I try to make them communicate directly. For instance, if Mieja wants something, like a bottle opened, to be read a picture book, opening an umbrella and if I think Chula can handle it, I tell Mieja to ask her elder sister. Pretty soon, when Mieja can do more things, I plan to extend this role mutually (because I think 15 month old difference is too little to establish the older sibling – younger sibling hierarchy). So far Chula has obliged and is pleased as plum when she is being asked for help.

As a result of all this, I think Mieja thinks Chula is MUCH older than her. The other day Chula wanted me to read a book like her teacher (meaning, me sitting on a chair and read the book as if some one would read a book to a big group as opposed to our regular reading sessions in which both the children are piled up on my lap). Mieja walked in and tried to climb on my lap. I gently nudged her and pointed to the floor and asked her to sit on the floor, otherwise she will not be able to see the book. She immediately went and sat on Chula’s lap! Chula gladly indulged, ‘Oh baby. I can’t see. Here sit like this, now we both can see. Okay?’ That was totally cute 🙂

Another thing I have started doing, during bath time(which is common for the girls), I ask them each two questions. ‘What was that one good thing you did for your Chula/Mieja today?’, ‘What was that your Chula/Mieja did today, made you very happy?’

Chula invariably answers, ‘Amma, I scrub my sister’ or ‘I read a book for Mieja’ for the first question. For the second it is always, ‘Amma, Mieja came to my school to pick me up. I was so happy to see her.’

So far Mieja, being the Villupattu specialist she is, simply repeats the last word of her sister’s most recent statement. ‘I chub. I chub. Watuul.’, ‘Chula kool….’

Will they grow up to be good friends inspite of their differences? Only time can tell. Meanwhile, I am determined to do my best.

PS
*Boo, some how the ‘little sister’ image is plastered to my mind and hence I leave you out whenever I talk about friends. But you know what? Sisters can/must be friends. That’s what I expect from my girls. So from now on it is official, I have four great friends.