Chula: Amma, I want to be a princess.
(Meaning, she wants to wear her silk skirt – pattu pavadai)

Chula, looks at me wearing a yellow saree and exclaims, ‘Wow amma. You are a yellow princess.’

Chula: Amma, I am a princess.

Chula commenting about something: Amma, this is so beautiful, just like a princess.

At school, Chula’s friend’s mom says ‘hi’ to Chula. Chula shyly moves away, she wants nothing to do with this lady, she is hiding behind me with her face stuck to my back. But the minute the lady remarks, ‘Wow, look at you. You are all dressed up, just like a princess’, she immediately gravitates to the lady, sits on her lap and starts a conversation. The transformation was so abrupt that it made my jaw drop in shock.

Even little Mieja uses the P-word frequently. “I want pisses”. (Pisses = Princess)

All this is troubles me. In the past, I have ignored it, I have acknowledged it, I have denied it. I have no problem with princesses/princes/fantasy play/fairly tales. I believe that the purpose of fairy tales is to provide children with emotional sustenance. The original stories have messages about valor, values and highlight the qualities that bring an individual close to greatness. What I don’t like is today’s trend of throwing the original message in to dumps and focusing only on the external appearance. Most young girls are strongly attracted to qualities like fair, pure, serene. So today’s princesses commercial market projects ONLY beauty.

I know that hate is a strong word, but I have no qualms using it in this context. I hate the way the princess image is plastered in to these little minds. I hate the way so much unspoken message is given through these blond hair and blue eyed princess. I strongly hate the pathetic attempts at cultural sensitivity by introducing Jasmine, Pocahontas and Mulan. They are as inappropriate and out of context as the tan skinned, saree-wearing Barbies that are marketed in India. Have any one read the capsule version of Snow White/Beauty And The Beast/Cinderella? In order to present the story in a jiffy, most of the essential symbolism is trimmed down and the end product is five pages of absolute injustice to children’s literature, which sabotages the minds of young girls in to thinking that they ‘need’ prince charming to save them.

Some one needs to tell these kids that appearance does not make a princess, but it is the great human qualities and inner beauty counts. How about telling these kids about Joan of Arc or the Jhansi Rani Lakshmi Bai?

So in the past I have ignored the P-word. I have also denied it. But now, I am slowly learning to accept it. The reason is, the more I resist it, the more enticing it is going to sound to Chula and Mieja. We have princess stuff in moderation at home. (Okay, okay, we have one princess lunch bag and one Snow White storybook. Well, something is better than nothing.) Whenever they want to play with the lunch bag or the story read to them, I oblige. But the Snow White story I read to them is MY version. Where Snow White’s ‘happy go lucky/making the best out of the situation she is in’ attitude is highlighted. And Chula strongly believes that ‘the prince’ who saves Snow White is her father. (‘Amma, appa is taking good care of Snow White’. Yay! Sexist message is taken care of.)

Any ways, when ever I hear the P-word in association with external appearance, I keep reiterating that princess-ness (my audacity for coining new words is purely derived from my inability to pick the right word from the million words that already exist in English language) does not come from the clothes, that she is a princess all the time, because she is loving, lovable and intelligent. And that’s what makes a princess.

Edited to add: United they stand, Divided they fall. Thanks Balaji making me put my finger on something that I have started doing subconsciously. I break the princesses by names. It is Cinderella, Snow White..( and others…Dang, I first need a princess101 ). It gives the ‘Princesses’ certain human-ness. The generality just gives them more mystery and unapproachability. Reference by name gives the message that they are human beings, fantasy but still human.