11 Jun 2010
“Involve the kids in everyday activities.”
Whoever said this did not have kids, that I can be sure of.
It works well in a school setting. I have scrubbed chairs, watered plants, gardened, done nature walks – all with kids. But a home is not as structured as a school. There are certain things that are a routine like loading/unloading the dishwasher, line drying the clothes, folding laundry and putting it away. We do these jobs together. At times when I am making dishes like soup, sandwich, cookie, cake etc, I involve kids. There have been days on which I have made them sit at the kitchen table with a slice of bread to butter or a tomato to be chopped or a cube of cheese to be grated, even if I am not using any of the above in my dish, just to get them out of my hair.
The thing about involving kids is that it needs some degree of planning. One must know the steps in order to delegate. Even better, the delegator must have done the chore at least once(with the delegatee in mind) in order to comprehend the exact skills essential to complete the chore.
Do you want to know what is even more difficult than delegating to kids? It is a mother delegating to siblings who are close in age. Imagine child1 and child2 sitting in their respective carseats all strapped up. After reaching the destination, child1 wants to take child2’s seatbelt off and the mother agrees. Child2 is deeply insulted. She wants to take child1’s seat belt off. So the mother comes up with the solution where child1 takes her seatbelt off, then takes child2’s seatbelt off and gets on to her carseat and straps herself. Child2 now proceeds to take child1’s seat belt off, every one is happy, calamity avoided. But hell no, the children being highly skilled torture specialists come up with the supreme question of who goes first. Now the mother has two choices, to bang her head on the steering wheel hard enough to do some damage to her brain or to calmly tell her children that this is an egg and chicken problem in which she does NOT want to be involved and walk away. Trust me, they do come up with some creative solutions, because they are clear that the enemy is not the sister but the parent and when the parent is not involved, they do tend to save their energy.
PS: This is not an isolated incident. All chores are now viewed by the children as ‘Why can’t I do that?’, ‘Why can’t I do it ALL BY MYSELF?’, ‘How else can I show off to my sibling?’, ‘Are there any other ways to establish MY territory?’.
PPS: The mother is secretly anguishing over the fact that she was stupid enough to read to the children that the free tiger trial issue of GloAdventurers where it describes in detail how tigers establish their territory by peeing. She is hoping that they do not connect two and two, end up with twenty two and pee all over the house.
PPPS: Double thumbs up to GloAdventurers. Do try them.
11 Responses for "Division Of Labor"
**The delegator must have done the chore at least once with the delegatee in mind ******
They should have a T-shirt with this caption in Bold 44 point font and give this away to new moms along with the Similac bag
I nodded my head so much as I read this post that I now have a stiff neck
UTBT SAYS: Otherwise you will be shooting for Pillayar and end up with kurangu. All experience speaking.
(Tamil adage that translates to you aim for something like making a Pillayar statute out of clay and because of the lack of skills the end produc looks like a monkey)
” highly skilled torture specialists” – how apt !!!
You pointed out the challenge when the siblings are close in age.
Its true in other case too … when they are not so close in age, the older one thinks she can rule over the other … while the younger refuses to accept that supremacy tamely.
UTBT SAYS: Definitely CA. Your older one is definitely mother hen 🙂 But your younger one is what? Two now? She is already rebelling?!
Hi.. my first time here. Very nice blog. Will be coming back to read more posts.
UTBT SAYS: Thanks Telugumom. See you around.
You bet they are *creative* torture specialists. Not just when they are more than one, but also when they are by themselves. Sigh! We are also willing hostages to their torture, aren’t we? All this will be sorely missed and fondly looked back on when they have moved on in life. I look at that thought as the silver lining.
UTBT SAYS: Sandhya, you are so ‘in the present’. I envy you for that 🙂
‘enemy is not the sister but the parent’ – pure wisdom that!
LOL at ‘torture specialist’ 😀
I’ve tried to involve Pattu in household chores but sometimes she is just not interested.
UTBT SAYS: Did you by any chance betray emotions and express in words or in body language that you would like it if she does that chore? Did you? Did you? DID YOU?
Kidding, at home they have some specifics that they like – cooking, hanging out on the counter top while I cook, throwing clothes in washing machine, setting the table, gardening a.k.a pulling out plants and watering weeds, drying clothes outside, kolam, window washing and such. Recent fascination, thanks to my mom is vathal making as in my mom spreads the vathal and these two monkeys go out with a spoon eat the ‘pachai maavu’.
*“Involve the kids in everyday activities.” Whoever said this did not have kids, that I can be sure of*
Totally, totally, totally agree. V thinks it is his duty to switch on the washing machine on (my stupid mistake of encouraging him). If he is in a good mood he’ll oblige. If not and instead of waiting for him and prostrating at his feet I switch on the thing myself, I end up, one hour of wailing later, asking myself (with fore-finger pointed at self in Vadivelu style) Thevaiya…ithu unnaku thevaiya!
UTBT SAYS: LOL at the washing machine duty.
Your post cracked me up!! PV’s comment even further and I totally agree with your post and her comment!!!
My older one is 3y9m and the younger is going to be 18m next month, and boy! was I nodding in agreement at each and every word in this post! Na is at a stage where she wants to put on her seatbelt, unload dishwasher, fold clothes, etc etc and generally gets a high since I go all gaga over the “cheemanda putri” 🙂 Now, Rad who has caught on much sooner than Na that the only way she is getting attention is by outdoing the older sibling starts to undo whatever Na has done!
You can imagine the pandemonium!!! In fact, I have a permanent dent on the forehead due to the constand head banging/head slapping/trying to bury head in mud so that I don’t have to see/hear the rukcus!!!
UTBT SAYS: I agree on the seemandha putri bit. 18 mo is a little too young. But when she is able to verbalize, they can sort it out themselves. Trust me, you will be in a good place 🙂
Yet to experience this phase,so some gyaan here.
UTBT SAYS: 🙂
LOL!
Top reason why I don’t believe in live-in helps or nannies – I see kids all around calling out to them to do the minutest job.
UTBT SAYS: 🙂
This made me laugh out loud, and my kids are crowding around me asking me why.
With an almost 4 year gap…it’s pretty complicated. But I have the trump card that usually works, “She’s 8, that’s why she can do it”…”When you are 8 you can grate veggies and turn off the gas too”
Trouble is these 2 have EXCELLLENT memories and file away every age-related promise I’ve made and rub my face in it. “You SAID I can do this when I’m 4,5,6…”
Much head banging goes on around here!
Here’s where we have succeeded…altho’ the chore rebellion has started off again, now that school is in full swing. Suits me fine, coz the idea was to keep them out of each others’ and my hair too!!
http://starsinmeyes.wordpress.com/2010/04/26/mothers-little-helpers/
Leave a reply