19 May 2011
Chula was in a mixed age classroom setting with preschool – kindergarten children in the same room. The California cut off for kinder is Dec 2nd, which means that Chula, being born a few days after Dec 2nd was still in pre-school and her friends born few days before Dec 2nd were in kinder. She was really looking forward to 2010-2011 school year because she starts the much awaited kinder, where she gets to do the special parts, she gets to graduate, walk the aisle with the graduation hat…basically the whole nine yards. But with every situation there are pros and cons, this Chula didn’t expect.
Sept 1st 2010, saw Chula start kindergarten, some of her best friends from kindergarten move on to a different building to start lower elementary and her best(est-est-est) friend move to a different school to start public school kindergarten. Chula went skipping to school and came back crying. The whole of 2010-2011, I had to give her pep talks, multiple times, about being open to make new friends, recognize the people who want to be friends with her and give them a fair chance instead of agonizing over what is not there etc. From my part, I arranged play dates with her old and new friends to show her that she did not loose her old friends and that at times we have to move on. I prided myself on doing the right things at the right time.
But little did I realize that somethings are easier said than done. It is slowly dawning on me that none of the advice I gave Chula makes any sense what so ever, when I apply it to myself, as I sit in India, 8700 miles away from my best(est-est-est) friend of 18 years, typing this post. The UTBT family has R2Ied. I am missing a part of me, the children are missing their godparents and it feels like a big void that nothing can fill. There is a lot to be said about this friendship, but I am leaving you all with what Yaadayaada said, ‘We have been with each other for more time we have been with our parents.’
16 Responses for "F Is For Friends"
Know what you mean.
Still miss my friends from the London years. Hugs.
UTBT SAYS: 🙁 and thanks.
A is going to miss her best-est-est-est friend, too!
We do it all the time, don’t we? It begins in earnest when we finish school and move on, then when we marry and leave behind a whole lifestyle, and then after we have kids- sometimes I no longer recognise myself of 20 yrs or so ago!
UTBT SAYS: I know, heard about A’s friend’s move. Sigh.
Hugs!
Sometimes there are better friends around the corner. And real friends will always be there for you, as I realise every time I go to my hometown and meet with two of my closest friends of childhood, now with their own families and careers.
Sorry to be sounding so preachy!:)
UTBT SAYS: You are so right Sandhya.
Hugs. And welcome to India. 🙂 I know…have R2I twice in my life, once as a refugee teen and once as a new mom. Very traumatic.
UTBT SAYS: Thanks Starry.
Oh, I’ve been envying you and your bestest childhood(or so I assume) friend for getting to stay so close(in distance and heart) after marriage and move abroad!! All the very best, anyway!!
UTBT SAYS: Thanks Me too. We have been friends since college and our mothers were school mates. Can you believe that?!
Wow ! you moved to India for good??? I was hoping that one day I will get to meet C & M in some restuarant or shopping place in and around Bay Area :-/
Good Luck !
Sujatha
UTBT SAYS: Sujatha, for some reason, I thought you like in Folsom. Otherwise, would have sent you and email and met with you for lunch.
think of it this way – you’ve had 18 yrs together… why not get your best-est friend to move too…
and welcome to India 🙂
UTBT SAYS: Yidhu planning! Already am writing posts about sugarcane juice and mangoes. Luring in progress.
Oh… you moved! Good luck and hope you settle down soon and ease into the system easily. It will be great to hear on your R2I experience too (on a selfish front!).
UTBT SAYS: Hey, sent you and email. Wanted to sync up with you before we moved, but the mail bounced back.
Aww.. God bless you both and the relationship you share.
Totally love YY’s statement.. its truly magical how some random person becomes so close and we equate them to family. Big hug!
Moozhgatha ship’ae friendship’a 🙂
UTBT SAYS: Yes, yes 🙂 Moozhgatha ship and all that!
I can only imagine. I hope you are having a lovely time being back with family again. Which part did you move to?
UTBT SAYS: We moved to Hyderabad. No family here. Every one is in Chennai. Not too bad, actually I like the idea of the 700KM gap between me and the clan. Near, not too near. Far, not too far 🙂
Miss you too! On the way back from work, I imagine you, M & C still in your place, and I am tempted to take that exit to your house. Also miss the little one’s cheery welcome that I am used to these 3 months! OK got to go now, before I start bawling!
UTBT SAYS: Same same!
Get a room you two!
*blinks back tears*
UTBT SAYS: 🙂
Welcome back! Send me your phone number please. Plan a trip if you can to B’lore after you settle down. Probably you can time it with Boo’s.
UTBT SAYS: Now that is an idea!
I know the feeling of missing best friends … went through the same feelings when one of my best friends moved from US to India ….
UTBT SAYS: Sigh and hugs to you.
Look at it this way UTBT, YY and you are going to be best-est-est friends no matter what. You could now add new ones to this list 🙂
UTBT SAYS: Very true.
Long time lurker reading about many of the topics you touch which interest me. Delurking to welcome you to India. Wishing you and your family settle down well. Take your time and go through the emotions. It takes a while to unlink oneself from the routine one is used to and form a new pattern. I sincerely wish you and the kids a ride as smooth as possible.
– Shree
UTBT SAYS: Thanks for the welcome. Slowly settling down. The ride is hardly smooth, but I am sure we will get used to rhythm of life here.
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