14 Jul 2008
The number of ‘NO’s a mother says to her child is directly proportional to (the personality of the child + life experiences of the mother).
In a particular house, the number of ‘NO’s a child hears is always a constant. This is irrespective of the birth order.
In order to spare the readers with the details, if I can describe myself in one word, while Chula was a wee little baby – HITLER.
But the second baby was such an eye opener. I learnt from my previous experience that there is absolutely no need to freak out. Mieja has lot more degree of freedom(from me) when compared to Chula. I really started thinking before I uttered the word ‘NO’. But when I said no it was a NO in 72 point, bold, underline, no matter the tears, tanrums, screaming. End of discussion. Case closed.
I learnt from experience that every single runny nose does not warrant a trip to the doctor. A trip to a restaurant can happen with out feeding the baby in the house/ packing food for the baby for hygiene purposes. If I don’t use Purell/anti bacterial wipes the world does not come to a grinding halt. The equation, ‘baby skipping afternoon nap one day = falling asleep in the evening = baby staying up well past midnight = baby with poor sleeping habits for the rest of her life’ exists only in the minds of a paranoid mother. Which lead me to write theorem I.
So you would assume that Mieja hears lesser number of ‘NO’s right? Wrong. There is this micro managing elder sister on her tail, observing her like a hawk.
NO baby, you can’t do that.
NO baby, you can’t touch that.
NO baby, it is not okay.
NO that is mine. Put that back.
NO baby that is not acceptable.
NO, come out of the room.
NO, NO, NO, NO……….
Which lead me to form theorem II
26 Jun 2008
Its been 4 weeks since the mother became a faculty in her daughter’s school. The mother and the daughter have settled in to a nice routine. They leave the house together and come back together. If the mother happens to walk in to the daughter’s classroom for some errand, the daughter comes running and gives a hug, kiss…yeah, the whole shebang. If the daughter happens to catch a glimpse of the mother through the window, she bangs the window to get the mother’s attention and waves all bright and cheery. She even calls her classmates and proudly points, ‘That is MY mommy’.
But it took quite a bit of learning from the mother’s part. Remember the mother’s bellyache about the lunch box issue? The first week, the mother did go overboard on the same issue. She checked the daughter’s lunch box during her break *gasp* pulled the daughter aside to feed her the food *gasp to power of gasp*. The poor daughter was seen walking around as if she crushed by an invisible boulder. At times she even hid under the table when the mother walked by.
But within two days, thanks to the over thinking and over analyzing mother’s brain that worked at the speed of light, a control system was established. Thus materialized an unspoken unwritten pact.
For the mother: When in school the child is cared for by HER teacher. Do not, do not, do not interfere.
For the child: When in school, you listen to what your teacher says. You were asked to sit out of circle time because you behaved inappropriately. Amma can’t do anything about it baby and NO you cannot come and start working in my class because you are unhappy with the situation you got yourself in to.
Guess even ‘mothering’ can become annoying, both to the child and to the mother, if the mother does not accept her boundaries.