Culture Kotudhu 1
Author: utbt26 Oct 2011
* KOTUDHU – is a Tamil word that translates to ‘IS POURING’
Yes, a new series….
“Why did you move back to India? Because you have two girls and you want them to get the Indian culture?” is a question I get asked many times.
So here is my observation of the Indian culture that the girls are getting, from the side lines.
Scribed by child1, dictated by child2.
And It Begins…
Author: utbt23 Oct 2011
The older child is playing in her keyboard, a song she sings at school. As she attempts again and again to bring the song to tune, my interest is piqued as to the lyrics of the song.
I ask her about the song, she says that it is the ‘vowel’ song that they sing at school and sings it for me.
On the earth I love to stand, strength from stones I’ve taken,
Striding boldly o’er the land, fearless and unshaken. Aaaaaaaa…..
And in water’s silvery waves, gladly do I revel,
From the fishes I can learn, up and down to travel. Eeeeeeeeee……
Upward to the light I look, where the sun shines brightly,
And with rainbow colors clear, paints the flowers lightly. Iiiiiiiii…..
In the air I love to jump, Oh! that I were flying,
Like a bird with outspread wings, O’er the hilltops gliding. Uuuuuuu….
Gratefully your gifts I hold, in my heart’s deep shrine,
Earth and Water, Air and Light, brothers all of mine. Ooooooo………
What a befitting song to kick start CROCUS2011?!
Hop over to SaffronTree to enjoy the introduction post by Tharini.
E Is For Extravagant Imagination
Author: utbt16 Oct 2011
Just wanted to share how my fantasy loving girls come up with logical fantasy. Every fantasy role play they come up with, has a strong rooted reality behind it. They push the limits to see how far they can take reality in to their fantasy and vice versa.
One of the stories I tell them is about the water cycle and how clouds are formed. Last Jan, during pick up time, after school, I noticed that they were narrating this story to their friends. Roughly a week later, few of Mieja’s friends, Meija and Chula were seen discussing the idea of a cloud party, partying in the clouds. It was interesting how they dissected this and came up with a solution for every road block. The whole thing evolved bit by bit over a period of few weeks.
Problem 1: “Clouds are so high. How to get to the clouds?”
Solution: “We will get on a helicopter and go land on the clouds”.
Problem 2: “But the clouds are so light. Look how fluffy they are. That is why they float right? How can the clouds hold the helicopter’s weight? What if we land on the cloud and the helicopter just falls through?”
Solution: “We have to find a small helicopter. Surely a small one will stay on the cloud”.
Problem 3: “How can we all fit in to a small helicopter?”
Solution: “Shrinking portion!! My dad will invent a shrinking portion. We will drink it, become very tiny and get in to the small helicopter and fly to the clouds”.
Having volunteered a dad for shrinking portion, one mom was to make pooris for the party, one dad was to procure a helicopter. My assignment was to pack. Last Jan/Feb, I was busy putting the house for sale, packing stuff for our relocation etc. The only thing the girls saw me do is to pack. So Mieja said, ‘My mother can pack for the party. She is very good at it. In fact she does it all the time!’
As they had hashed out all the minor details, come pick up time it was major pain for me. I was met with whines, ‘Ammmmaaa, can we have our cloud party now? Pick up my friends also. We want to go to the clouds.’ It was getting difficult for me to come up with excuses and I also felt bad for the children. So I announced that Mieja’s 5th birthday party will be a cloud party and set to work.
Small, cozy party, at home, for 5 kids – check.
Cloud theme food (white cheddar cheese mac and cheese, popcorn, rainbow fruit kebab) – check.
Entertainment (puppet show with Dottie the clown, she promised something cloud based) – check.
Cloud decoration – check.
The cake part got me worried. Some how I have never been fully happy with any of their birthday day cakes. I usually go to the bakers with multiple pictures, a photoshopped picture I put together, color samples, theme and a story. They nod and decorate as they like. The taste has been good, but appearance wise, none has blown me away. That was until I met Reva.
I told Reva about the cloud party and my requirements. This is what she came up with. See for yourself people. Isn’t she amazing?
Cloud cake
Slice in to the cloud and you will find a rainbow.
Children fly to the cloud on a pega-corn. I said winged unicorn and all the five year olds dissed me. “It is a unicorn and a pegasus. Can’t you see that it is a Pegacorn?” I tried arguing why can’t it be a Uni-sus, sadly didn’t take off.
They have their own suitcases, in which they have their party stuff.
Cloud decorations, done by the kids and moi. I tried renting a fog machine, but decide against it at the last minute and did the tissue paper clouds.
Cloud puppet show.
The take away gifts were zipper flowers. No connection what so ever with the cloud party. Just that I have been itching to do it for quite some time! Zipper flower three ways – necklace, bracelet, hairband.
So long folks.
U Is For Updates
Author: utbt13 Oct 2011
- Met Uma and it was great. It was nice of her to stop by for a quick chat session, much to the cabbie’s dislike, on the way to the airport. She got the kids awesome scrap books made out of hand made paper. I have put it away for a rainy day craft activity. We talked like we knew each other for ages. Kids behaved. So all in all a good meet.
- Are you ready for CROCUS2011? At Saffron Tree we are busy over working our keypads and gearing up for CROCUS2011. ST is turning five and the CROCUS theme for 2011 incorporates our birthday. ST is five and the theme is ‘THE FIVE ELEMENTS – EARTH, AIR, FIRE, SPACE, WATER’. Stay tuned with us and you will not be disappointed. We are bringing our A-game, you guys prep your cozy reading chair. 7 days of back to back reviews, the famous CROCUSword, teacher resources, art, activities and much more.
- Mieja is in to making money for some reason. Of course I do tell her often that things do not grow on trees and that we have to work hard to buy things. After buying money from Target, her next idea was to grow a money tree in our back yard. The most recent in this unique line of thinking is, ‘Amma, let us sell the market. There are so many things in a market right?! If we sell the whole market, then we will get lots of money right?!’ Soon she will be selling me. The day is not too far.
- Chula….. something is going on. With every day, she is living a little bit more inside her own head. There is lots of dreaming, thinking, drawing, reading, shutting off her links to the world outside going on. Some of her pictures blew my breath away. She is drawing Little Mermaid scenes. Shading with her pastels, looking at it from right-left, top-bottom, just a shade here a shade there. Perfecting it, sometimes after spending hours on a picture deciding to throw it away and starting it from scratch. Finally when she is happy showing it off to me and asking me to frame it.
- Uma tagged me for Mommy Guilt, few months ago. When she met me, she was nice not to smack me on my head as I am still sitting on it. So here it is.
With every day, my priority in life is getting defined over and over again. Now it is clear – my personal space, kids, house keeping, thousand mundane things, at the very last bringing up the rear, cooking. The bandh and the kids lounging at home played a major role how this priority list got shaped up. The kids are no longer allowed to play inside the house. They have strict instructions to play in the corridor and to eat what is put on their plate at the time it is put on the plate or else wait till the next scheduled eating/snacking time. There have been few occasions in the past month, when they were hungry and I ruthlessly, said no to the unscheduled snack quoting that they nibbled their lunch and now have to wait for another hour for their milk/buttermilk.
If there is fresh made hot rice or idlis, I get first dibs. I have often fed the kids left over rice and kept the fresh made rice for myself.
I maintain it is for the greater good and do not feel an inkling of guilt.
- Went to Ohri’s Nautanki Gali. It gave me the impression of ‘wanna be a good restaurant’. The food was aplenty, the waiters were super nice. But felt as if something was missing. We sat in an auto and ate our dinner, definitely a high point for kids. I was not too kicked about the general garish do and loud music. Food was so-so. High point of the buffet seems to be the chocolate fountain, though the fountain looked watery.They also have Rajasthani style puppet show, but the puppets were resting when we went.
- Went to Skandagiri temple in Secunderabad. Major renovation going on. So I had to watch the kids like a hawk. Right next to the temple was a branch of Giri Trading. They have golu dolls, marapachis, all types of pooja items, devotional CDs/DVDs/books, golu stand etc. In general gave me a Mylapore/Saidapet feel. Also next to the temple an Anjeneya temple by Kanchi mutt.
D Is For Dear Dot
Author: utbt10 Oct 2011
Dear Dot,
I am doing fine. I wish you were fine too. I wish ‘we’ are fine.
Let me be upfront and confess that I used to be in love with you. You were my guiding force. When I was totally lost, you always saw me through. You set me in the right direction. You gave me security and a sense of calm. I assumed that you will always be there for me. Sadly it is not to be.
Of late I am not able to trust you. I find that you are lost yourself. If so, how can you be my guide? Many a times you are not even present and no matter how many times I call you, you simply do not answer my call. It really scares me when you wander off, shut me off completely and stay cold and remote.
Consider this an an intervention. You need to take care of yourself. You used to be a petite, healthy looking, cool to the eye blue dot. Have you seen yourself when you wander? You look enormous and fill my entire field of vision. Sorry to hurt you…… but you have become a blob.
Life is full of crossroads, side lanes, short cuts, fly overs, over passes and under passes. When we are at a cross road, all we need to is to get complete information and choose a clear path. Considering that you ALWAYS see the bigger picture and get your information from a higher source, it is not that difficult. But off late I find you getting frustrated. You ask innocent people like me who have infinite trust in your wisdom, to simply climb a bridge and jump down. Is this fair? Sigh.
Hope you improve soon. Until then I will check on you, but not trust you.
Yours truely
UTBT.
PS: So…… you people want me to tell you what this is about? Or are you guys game to make wild guesses?
EDITED TO ADD
It is the Google maps app on iPhone. The blue dot marks my position. Used to help direction challenged me. Even if I had the directions, the blue dot was my favorite because it tells me if I am staying on the right path or if I missed a turn and some place else.
Many of you guessed it right.
The blue dot is absolutely frustrating. Bloody thing does NOT understand the concept of flyover and underpasses. It asks me to climb up the flyover and jump down the other side.
Google maps gives random directions like, ‘Make left at Big Boss Cafe’. I am thinking it is a ‘super’ land mark considering Google has it in its map. Big Boss Cafe contrary to its name is nothing but a ‘potti kadai’ and I have missed it because the name board is written in Teulgu.
I look at the blue dot, it is on the purple path and I am thinking, ‘Wow, we are on track, we are yet to reach Radha Bangle shop and then we have to make the right.’ Suddenly, the blue dot jumps three girds and swells up to a blue hazy region. I have no clue where I am, because in Hyderabad they do not believe in writing address on the name boards(of course the few shops that do, have it in Telugu, Murphy’s law).
Day before yesterday, thanks to Google maps, I directed R in to a lane that was exactly 6 feet wide. 6 feet. There we are struggling to make a u-turn and get out of the lane, yes u-turn in a 6 feet lane, one corolla, one scorpio, zillion bicycles and trillion autos zoomed in from all directions and froze us. Yes scorpio in a 6 feet lane and we bleedy peeples thought we cannot drive our i10 through it!
Two days back, we were trying to get to the main road from the Secunderabad murugan temple and it took us to the cemetery. I think Google maps has given up giving us subtle messages to discourage us from using it, now it has started giving explicit threats!
Alphabet Soup
Author: utbt18 Sep 2011
Q, I, B, T, D, O, G, T, F, C, V, A, M, N done.
W, P and E … kind of working on it.
H, J, K, L, R, S, U, X, Y, Z to go.
What do I do?
Feel free to throw in ideas.
A Playdate In Three Acts
Author: utbt13 Sep 2011
A child, Mieja’s age is at home to play.
Act I
Mieja to the child: See, see. See how beautifully my mother has arranged the house. She has the brown couch here and black bench there. There is also the daybed, so that we can sit and look at the pictures. She works hard to keep the house this way. It is sooo beautiful-na?!
Act II
The visiting child is conducting a drawing contest for which Chula and Mieja are supposed to draw two pictures each.
V.Child to Mieja: Hey, what are you drawing yaar? Your party picture does not look like party at all. Give me it, I will draw and you can color.
Mieja: No. This is my picture. This is how I want it.
V.Child: Okay then. I will not give you prize for this. I don’t like it.
Mieja: Its okay. I am drawing for myself. Not for prize. This is how I want it.
V.Child: Then your mother will be angry with you for not getting prize. She will scold you.
Mieja: Nooo. My mother will not. She says you have to do what makes you happy and do it the best. She will not scold me or do ‘katti’ with me for not getting prize. Yeah, my mother knows everything-re. She is older than you. Do you know how old she is? Vvverrry old. She is 34. See, I told you she is old and knows everything?!
Looks like I can retire. I have imparted wisdom, knowledge, values, thankfulness, appreciation and of course, I am old. The decision is further confirmed by the song the three children are singing and eating dinner.
Act III
Dum maro dummmmm
Pizza bubblegummmmm
Put it on your bummmmm
So long folks, have a good one.
Following My Paint Brush
Author: utbt9 Sep 2011
Indian society has many strata based on caste and/or class. What once could have been a loose way to organize people and make laws has now transmogrified in to commandments, propelled purely by the willingness of the people to accept and conform. Being a woman AND being born in the lower caste AND being poor can be a triple whammy. Rarely there are some people who break out of this cycle and it is an uphill task to do so.
FOLLOWING MY PAINT BRUSH tells the real life story of the Mithila painting artist Dulari Devi who bettered her life by following her passion – painting. Her story is told through her own paintings and the simple, yet powerful words of Gita Wolf.
Gita subtly tells how Dulari Devi overcame her creator’s block and draws inspiration from her life. This particular picture, displaying elements of symmetry and repetitive geometrical patterns shows one half of the painting with minimal colors and intricate lines. Where as the other side shows vibrant colors filled in between lines. This is the fusion of two styles of Mithila art – the Kachni and the Bharni.
The line that spoke the most to me is:
“As time went on I couldn’t imagine a single day without painting. It was a part of my life.”
It made me think, when you are born in and living in poverty, the lack of power to do or say anything, the feeling of helplessness associated with the situation, has a greater impact on human emotions than lack of money and the material comforts it can buy. Once Dulari Devi started painting, once she started expressing herself and her paintings get some kind of recognition, she just cannot stop.
This comes through in the last page when Dulari Devi says, “I was so proud that people wanted to know about me and what I thought.”
From promoting the Mithila art to celebrating the will of this talented artist, this book is quintessential Tara. FOLLOWING MY PAINT BRUSH found its way to my coffee table and the message to my heart.
Pic courtesy: https://www.tarabooks.com/
Special thanks to Tara Books for a free copy of FOLLOWING MY PAINT BRUSH
Standing Up For Our Children
Author: utbt6 Sep 2011
You have touched upon a couple of things that I have in my mind for the past six years. Let me go paragraph by paragraph. Any one else from the blog-mom-o-sphere, please participate. Comment, do a post, what ever works for you.
Chula has been fitting in a size or two bigger clothing since she was four. It is the hips that take the blame. Till I shopped in the ‘toddler’ section(US size 2 – 5) life was peachy. When I ventured in to the ‘girls’ section (US size 5 – 14) I vividly remember being alarmed. Many of the clothes were inappropriately designed. I mean who ever came with this low rise jeans idea?! Shouldn’t designers have some basic sense about hip size : crotch-to-waist length holy ratio? One moron comes up with a design that would fit stick figures and the all major departmental chains go ballistic and stock ONLY low rise hip huggers. I mean these are 5 and 6 year old children who run and climb things. I tried buying two sizes bigger and altering the length, but eventually gave up buying jeans for my children. Since 2008, all they wear are cotton pants with elastic at the hips that covers the butt crack. Yes, the clothing section is brimming, but if you are looking for non-pink, non-Disney characters, slightly loose, appropriate clothing, something that will withstand the running and climbing, something that is not a mini version of adult clothing you might as well grow you own cotton and weave your own clothes.
Do I need to write anything about swim suits? Target has decided that if you are looking for 8+ size swim suit, it has to be three piece – a mini bra, a bottom that will fit inside a match box, a small match box that is, and a shirt. Mind you, none of these three pieces of clothing solve the purpose of covering your child’s body and it costs a about $50. If not, you can buy wet suits for double the prize. Finally after three months of searching I found swim shorts(low rise of course) and swim shirt at Old Navy, that too only because Feb is the time the stores stock swim wear.
Yes, that is the trend now good people. The thinking is no more, ‘This is current fashion’/‘this is swim season’ -> let us buy a little more in case there is a demand. The selling no longer caters to the different sets of people, with different shapes of bodies, buying a variety of things. For all that talk and noise about uniqueness, the only message clothing industry gives my children is to conform. Stores sell one standard thing at one standard time and you better stock up. If they sell low rise jeans, fit your body in to it. If they sell swim suits from Feb – July, buy at that time. If you think your child might grow out of the swim suit before, what stores perceive as, the next swim season, you stock up or you don’t get any. All in the name of popular demand!
Not exactly clothes, but while on the topic, I might as well spill my angst. If you are following this blog you will know that we just moved continents. Moving two children from one country to another, for good, is not fun. I wanted to cheer the children up and the bulb in my head switched on. ‘Hey, let me buy the children their own pull along suitcases.’ Again if you don’t endorse Disney or Barbie, then your choices are practically non existent. For boys it is easy, buy a pull along suitcase with Lightning McQueen and you are done. At least that is what it looks to me as a mother of two girls. What I buy is what I endorse to my girls. I do not want to endorse Disney Princesses, Bartz, Barbie and such. I found that if I have certain principles, then I enter in to the exclusive realm and I need to shell out the money even if I am not ready. Finally this came home, with a hefty price tag, of course, the most I have ever spent on a piece of luggage and my heart bleeds a little bit every time the children pull it a little too hard.
Good teachers/guides(parents are the first teachers and guides of young children) have this philosophy, to balance out the classroom and to maintain harmony in the classroom, they pair up children with opposing qualities. It is purely trial and error and if it clicks, they compliment each other very well. Now a small diversion. Children are born with no clue what so ever about the XX and XY factor. Finally they figure out that there is a divide called girls and boys. They look in the society and look for external signs and qualities that define what is a boy and what is a girl. Unfortunately society tells that girls NEED to wear pink, wear dresses, must giggle, form sisterhood, like chocolates, must be super sensitive, swing between extreme emotions, be delicate, do art work, talk about their feelings, give up things for the greater good, be responsible, be gentle, be caring…… Back to good teachers/guides, these good adults must bear in mind that young children gravitate to pink and pretty because in their flexible minds, if they do not they are not girls. Unfortunately the adults, innocently endorse this thinking that it is a phase. Yes it is a phase, but if dealt blindly becomes a way of being, way of existence. All it takes -sensible adults to keep reassuring that sex is a biological thing and does not change no matter what. Just like good teachers, good parents must expose their children to both ‘boy stuff’ and ‘girlie stuff’.
Media, again like the departmental stores works with the sole principle of making money. Boys play rough/girls read books and do crafts -> publish more books for girls with girls as central characters and balls/blocks and video games for boys. Now come in the unsuspecting adults, who look at the choices available – ‘Make your own friendship bracelets kit with pictures of a pretty girl’, Cam Jansen, Fancy Nancy in full splendor, ‘Monopoly in pink – special girls edition with boutiques and malls instead of hotels and houses’, designer edition pink Scrabble, Uno special pink edition… and end up thinking this is what girls need and inadvertently end up feeding the loop. Whose brilliant idea is it to sell Monopoly in pink? What is this message that girls must shop and spend money at the mall while boys get to do large motor activity, running around, playing regular Monopoly and developing their spacial skills? Why define pink is for girls and then sell pink board games and giving the message that girls play with girls and boy play with boys? Who exactly dictates that boys need to be powerful and play ball while girls need to be passive aggressive and shop?
Then this unique Indian message. The MIL switches the TV on and there is a lady lecturing that, the woman’s place is behind the man and by supporting the man she can better herself. She goes on telling the story of Valluvar’s wife Vasuki who defied gravity. At a point it gets to me, the mother of two girls and I end up buying Paper Bag Princess where the Princess not only saves the goofball of a prince but also ends up calling him a bum and walks out alone. Do I want to my daughters to end up alone? No, but I feel that is much better than being a Vasuki or a dainty princess. This is exactly how aggressive feminism grows. The past six years I have heard nothing but the roles and duties girls. Come on, my child is still pooping in her diapers and you tell me, ‘It is good to have a girl child first, she will be responsible and take care of the boy who will come next’?
That is why K’s mom, it is up to us, parents to stand up for our children, so that they can be well rounded individuals, have a full life, without any hatred for the opposite sex, choose professions that they are passionate about rather than to fit the bill and be sensitive. We as parents must put thought in to what we buy and what we endorse. Rather than picking the best of the worst, we must demand quality. If we let the advertising industry and corporates dictate what we need to buy for our children, we(men and women) might as well part ways, move to Mars and Venus and live happily ever after.
Reading suggestions: CINDERELLA ATE MY DAUGHTER by PEGGY ORENSTEIN. Words can’t tell how much I enjoyed and learned from this book. Five stars and a must read for all parents, irrespective of the sex of your child.
Previously blogged
Sexualization Of Young Children
Are men really from Mars and women from Venus?
Stolen Interview
Author: utbt5 Sep 2011
(Picture courtesy : WikiMedia)
My first conscious Raja Ravi Verma sighting at Salar Jung.
By the way, what you see on the web is no match for the original. It was pure genius. I mean look at her…. coy, playing with the flower, fully aware of the set of eyes on her. He has probably made his move and is waiting for her to respond or may be he is just content standing there and looking at her. Are they married or lovers? Something makes me think they are newly married couple trying to get away from a big joint family. What do you thing peeps?
Proud Member of Saffron Tree
Recent Comments