The first time I saw a size zero pavadai was when my parents landed in the US armed with 4 pairs when they came to help us with child#1. I was fascinated. I held the pavadai and wondered how small the baby would be if she had to fit in to these doll sized clothes. I took an immediate liking to the green pavadai with red borders and put it aside to use for child#1’s punyakavachanam function.

On the day of the function we dressed her up in the green pavadai and she was swimming in it! We discovered that size 0 is more of a 3 month size and we did quite a bit of tucking, rolling and pinning to make it kind of an okay fit.

For child#2, my mother got a pavadai custom made in orange and cream color. She had the tucks and other alterations already made in order to make the fit better. But there is a Murphy and needless to say he intervened.

Child#2 was always a small child, a good 2 weeks behind the projected growth chart. Me starting out with a negative weight of 92 pounds and staying at the same weight well in to my second trimester didn’t help the matter. At a point the doctor was alarmed and asked me to put on weight rapidly. I battled on bravely but couldn’t get beyond 105. My doctor scheduled another ultrasound and insisted that I put on a 10-15 more pounds as the baby, though healthy is small. To make the matters worse, child#2 came two weeks early! So even the supposedly small size of pavadai was way too big for her. The shirt came to her knees, skirt flowed well beyond her legs and she looked like a Rajasthani kathputli puppet! A red wrinkly puppet that made us dance to her tunes.

All these memories came flooding back today as I got a doll sized pavadai-sattai made for R’s newphew’s new born.A pavadai made entirely out of a blouse bit that was bit small to stitch a blouse in the design I had in mind and a left over blue silk I had. We are all dying of cutness overload!! Sharing the pictures and memories here.

When I was a child, I used to ask for stories to eat. Not just any stories, but exciting, never before heard stories every single time. And this responsibility fell squarely on my father and my chithi’s shoulders. So three times a day, seven days a week, they were in the unenviable position of making up stories. These stories needed to be just long enough to see through the food on the plate. If it was short, I would stop eating and demand a new story. And if the story was too long, I would demand that they continue the story even though the food was done.

I still remember the blood donation story my father made up. Some one was in an accident and they needed blood. Since the victim had a rare blood group, they had to screen people one by one by one by one till they found a match. As I finished all the  food on my plate the right donor would be found and all would be right!

The next random story I remember was  my chithi’s story about the Kamakshi temple in our street corner and the suspicious looking man who came to the temple every day just around dusk, stood there with his eyes darting, nervous, twitchy and anxious. After a few minutes he would walk away melting in to the darkness. He repeated this routine for many days, where the number of days would be exactly the same number of spoons of food on my plate. Just as I spooned in the very last morsel of food, the man would decide to do what he was dilly dallying about for so many days, namely dropping a one rupee coin in to the hundiyal and walk away.

So many parallels between the made up stories I heard as a child and 2.0.  Lack of substance. Monotonous repetition. No logic whatsoever. When you think back you realise that the teller has conned you. But you are no longer five years old and you can see the con through the 3-D glasses as you are watching the movie.

2.0 starts off with the title credits and extreme close up of something… no one knows what it is but it gives you an impression of sitting in a virtual reality Disney ride and leaves you mildly nauseous to the preamble of cellphones disappearing. And the case of the disappearing cell phones is shown O.N.E  B.Y  O.N.E. India is a populous country. Of the 130 crore people in India about 65 crore people use cellphones. So much like the nursery rhyme “1 kodam thanni oothi 1 poo poothudham, 2 kudam thanni oothi 2 poo poothudhaam….” the disappearing cellphone drama goes on and on for a painfully long time. After 30 minutes and what might very well be the 500th cellphone, I am not sure, I slept off, as you are about to scream, “Enough! We get that ALL cellphones are disappearing. We really don’t care why, but we GET IT. MOVE ON!”, the story moves on to deaths.

Not just any deaths, but death by devices. Murder by mobiles.  Homicide by the handset.

Now, Shankar has in the past has been particularly (un)imaginative about murders scenes in his movies, the degree of sins committed by the victim being directly proportional to the randomness of mythological association. Like a split personality Vikram opening an umbrella to create a buffalo stampede in Anniyan. (This has been rightfully made fun of in Tamilpadam1.) Thankfully no Garudapuranam references or Chithraguptan chithravadhais in 2.0. Some netas die and you kind of guess that they are crooked and hence they die, but you are not the least bit interested in the 5Ws that hooks a listener to a story. Instead the predominant Ws in your mind are WTH, Will I get my money back?, Worry that the director might play “1 kudam thanni oothi” with us and show people dying one by one and it might go on for a V.E.R.Y  L.O.N.G  T.I.M.E!

There were many things I found unacceptable in 2.0.

It is one thing to be inspired by Salim Ali, the bird-man of India, but this character called Pakshirajaan based on Salim Ali is blasphemy. While Salim Ali is a Padma Bhushan and Padma Vibushan recipient and one of the greatest ornithologists, Pakshiraajan is a defeated old man who later turns in to a revengeful….. ghost(??!!). As you study the character of Pakshiraajan you end up in a Nayagan connundrum wondering, ‘Yivar nallavaraa, ketavara? Yivar nalladhu seiyyarara ketadhu seiyaraara?* Do I do what he does or only listen to what he says?’ When one writes a character based on a pioneer and his life’s work, it is basic decency to show respect. What is been done in the movie is all crass, no class half baked version of what Salim Ali represented.

One must learn from movies like Pari Yerum Perumal to see how beautifully the story has been told, class issues discussed and how it ends with a glimmer of hope. But it is typical of Shankar, to speed read a Wikipedia page and immediately commercialise it without worrying about gaining any deep understanding or developing an inkling of conviction. In the past he has made movies about irregularities that exist in the education system, corruption, need for transparency in government etc without having really stood for anything. The issues have always been handled as something that he can make money out off, not something that addresses the problem, never has he given hope.  2.0 falls along the same lines. A gargantuan 600 crore production that took 6 years in post-production that used up every bit of help technology can offer to preach to the public how as a society we are over using technology to kill the environment. Irony much?! This is as confusing as the the old people who over use Whatsapp, mobile phones and TV serials comment how the younger generation(which made all this technology these people cushily use possible) is going to the dogs because of over work, misplaced priorities and technology addiction! And without missing a beat forward posts that says that cellphone technology, nuclear bombs, rockets and airplanes existed in the time of Ramayana and Mahabharatha. And not even for a minute one can buy weak arguments about how this movie translates in to employment and development for people in an industry.

It is a bit sad to see Rajinikanth being time and again trapped in the Superstardom and getting choked by it. No matter whether he works with Ranjith or Karthik Subbaraj, this is a man who will never be allowed to do the roles that his heart truly desires. In 2.0 he is used strictly as a brand without any of his usual flair or punch dialogues. While the black-sheep and the bleating were entertaining in Endhiran, the bird impression he does in this is pathetic. His words are slurring a bit as he delivers his dialogues. Even Baba and Kuselan which were all time flops of Rajini, there was meat to his character. But in this movie Shankar has misappropriated every one’s clout and the only thing that comes through and slaps you in your face is how much money has been spent and how Shankar has pulled it off.

Last but not the least the director did not make a stupid movie, but he has made a movie thinking WE are stupid and would take anything sitting down with our 3-D glasses on! Sparrow giving CPR to a still born infant? Ghosts entering cellphones? The rouge Robot comes back to life and the first thing he does is to pull down Amy Jackson’s zipper? Exorcism of cellphones? Such silly dialogues? (I will not even go in to the sending positive signals in to space to attract good aliens and positive EMR and negative EMR cancelling out!)

Hopefully there is no 3.0!

PS:

*The famous Nayagan movie dialogue where a small child asks Kamal if he is a good man or a bad man.

…and almost didn’t because I couldn’t remember the password to the blog. Yes, it has been that long!

In my bookclubs, after we finish the story, I like to explore the quality of words with the little ones.

It so happens that I have an all boys group between 5 yrs and 8 yrs currently. We speak about everything from fart(which they think I never do and who am I to disagree?!) to the f-letter word(apparently it is fool. Again, who am I to disagree?!)

We take a word, sound it out, try the spelling, discuss about the c that is telling its name instead of its sound, the e that slept without making any noise etc. Then we talk about the meaning of the word. After this I ask them to make sentences with the word.

Sometimes there is a minimalistic sentence.
Excited – ‘I am excited’(this in the most unexcited voice ever).
‘No mam, that is all.
No, I don’t want to tell you about what.
No, I don’t want to tell why.
I am excited, that is it.
Don’t ask me anything about my excitement.’

Sometimes there is a story.
Child: Respect – Sometimes, when my mother is nice to me, I respect her.
Me: Your mother is nice to you sometimes or of the times she is nice to you, you respect her sometimes? Where does the sometimes belong? That is important, it changes the meaning of the sentence.
Child: Errr…… I think it is that second meaning you said.

Child: Respect – I respect the girls in my class.
Me: (Almost standing up in joy) That is so sweet. And a perfect sentence too.
Child:(With a bit of guilt and puppy dog eyes) Mam, that is a little bit not true. I fully respect Purnima. But Ria….no. Ria is always complain complain complain about me. So no respect to Ria.
Me: Okay, fair enough 🙂

Sometimes there is an ‘r’ missing.
No symbolism here. The child has difficulty pronouncing ‘r’ and I find it cute and give him more words with ‘r’. ‘Mam the twittel of bilds is vely illitating. Is that a good sentence with twittel? Should I wlite it? Mam I don’t want to wlite. I don’t like wliting.’
Sometimes there is an unexpected reward for me. We would be talking about the word empathy and suddenly some one will pipe up and say, ‘Like in Dorje’s Stripes, when the tiger was suffering the master felt bad for him, that is empathy right?!’ Or we are discussing the word pleasant and they all remember The Pleasant Rakshasa and say, ‘We know the meaning mam. You told us when we read Pleasant Rakshasa book. To be pleasant is to be like Karimuga.’

It is delightful. This whole process. Many times I keep harping on and on about dying tigers and China occupying Tibet and plastic bags polluting the Earth and wonder if they are understanding it… they do get it, in their own way.

Chennai Rains

On the first day of rain holidays
we slept late.

On the second day of rain holidays
we read books,
and we slept late.

On the third day of rain holidays
we watched a movie,
we read books,
and we slept late.

On the fourth day of rain holidays
we had a play date,
watched a movie,
we read books,
and we slept late.

On the fifth day of rain holidays
we ate chips and popcorn,
had a play date,
watched a movie,
we read books,
and we slept late.

On the sixth day of rain holidays
we had a read aloud session,
ate chips and popcorn
had a play date,
watched a movie,
we read books,
and we slept late.

On the seventh day of rain holidays
we did Wii dance,
had a read aloud session,
ate chips and popcorn
had a play date,
watched a movie,
we read books,
and we slept late.

On the eighth day of rain holidays
we did craft work,
did Wii dance,
had a read aloud session,
ate chips and popcorn
had a play date,
watched a movie,
we read books,
and we slept late.

On the ninth day of rain holidays
we did creative writing,
craft work,
did Wii dance,
had a read aloud session,
ate chips and popcorn
had a play date,
watched a movie,
we read books,
and we slept late.

On the tenth day of rain holidays
we borrowed books from the library,
did creative writing,
craft work,
did Wii dance,
had a read aloud session,
ate chips and popcorn
had a play date,
watched a movie,
we read books,
and we slept late.

On the eleventh day of rain holidays
we did Face Time with many many people,
borrowed books from the library,
did creative writing,
craft work,
did Wii dance,
had a read aloud session,
ate chips and popcorn
had a play date,
watched a movie,
we read books,
and we slept late.

On the twelfth day of rain holidays
we music practice,
did Face Time with many many people,
borrowed books from the library,
did creative writing,
craft work,
did Wii dance,
had a read aloud session,
ate chips and popcorn
had a play date,
watched a movie,
we read books,
and we slept late.

And fought a L.O.T, every single day.
And at our wits end.
So please stop raining dammit!

Parents know by now that teenage is not a number, but certain characteristics your children start exhibiting.It does not matter if they are 13, 3, 8, 38(ahem!) if you see more than one of the below then you have a teenager in the house.

-If your child sticks to you when sad, but does not make eye contact with you when in the company of her peers,

-Allows to hug her only when she is upset,

-Gets mad at you at the drop of a hat for things you said/did not say/implied/thought in your mind but did not dare express verbally,

-Wants attention, but does not ask for it, but is irritated when she does not get it,

-There is no more walking or talking at home. There is only stomping and trudging which may or may not be coupled with door banging and frustrated grunts.

-There is no more shyness or giggling when you point a camera at them, but you sense a silent warning to the person holding the camera,

-Many questions are answered with a careless up and down of the shoulders,

-Plenty of eye rolling.

I am not naming any names, but some one at home, other than me, is in this phase now. So while dropping the children at the bus stop, I put on my game face,  stood outside the child’s window, promptly jumped up and down, waving maniacally and calling her name out loudly. When she comes home today, I might show her the climax of Moondram Pirai, where Kamal is trying to get Sridevi’s attention, just so she knows what may or may not follow.

It was one of our talk sessions in progress. It all started with Child#1 wanting to know why, when the whole world and its neighbor seems to have taken their off springs to Bahubali, I am being such a conservative mother and am refusing to go with the flow. I launched my standard answer  missiles touching upon many things that I believe in like age appropriateness, violent visuals affecting growing minds, over inflated romance creating unrealistic expectations etc.

Child#2 piped up and asked me, ‘Was Bahubali violent?’ for which I replied in the affirmative. Her next question was if the movie was ‘vicious’. I was mildly irritated at this point as my sermon was still in progress and the child was interrupting me. So I did my standard discouraging technique of answering a question with a question, and countered her with, ‘What did I just tell you?’. Her reply was, ‘You said the movie was violent. I want to know if it was vicious.’ Still eager to get on with my speech I answered, ‘Well what is the difference?’ and was about to go on.

At this point she stopped me and said, ‘There is a difference amma. If violent is here(pointing to one feet from the ground), viciousness is here(pointing to three feet from the ground). If you still don’t understand amma, violence is like a multiple of 3 and viciousness is like a multiple of 9. Just because something is a multiple of 3 it does not mean it is a multiple of 9. But if it is a multiple of 9, it is definitely a multiple of 3. I can swing my hands violently, it is not vicious. But if I act out viciously against some one, then I am violent towards that person. Got it?’

And, I was out sermon-ed, just like that! May be they are ready for Bahubali. May be I am the one who is not ready!

Updated to add: udumalai.com to buy Cherar Kottai

Why did Renuka Devi lie to learn the dhanur vidhya techniques from KaandhaLoor salaai?

What was hidden from the young Ravi Neeli during the Kalam competition?

Who was the other Chozha representative who fought against Ravi Neeli during the Kalam competition of the first Parandhaga Chozha?

What is the thaanai thalaivar’s motivation? Who is he? He seems to be the master pupeteer! How did AruL Mozhi Varman figure out who he is?

There seems to be a background as to why Paraman Mazhapadiyar is the Chozha representative for the Virodhi Varusha Kalam competition, but why tag Kamban Maniyanaar? What role does Maniyanaar play?

Who was the figure that ran away from the first meeting that was convened by VaLLuvanaar? Was there even a spy? Or was it VaLLuvanaar’s play to make his mission sound dangerous and important?

Why is Valluvanaar not as happy as the rest of the people when the heir returns?

What is the message ‘Sa’ ‘Ra’ left by Narayana Pattadhri’s older brother, in his death bed.

What is the message ‘O’ ‘Ra’ left by Aingaran before he lapses in to coma due to his head injury.

Will Aingaran come out of the coma in time to reveal the secret thaanai thalaivar’s identity?

Oh! This and many many more questions haunt me as I read Cherar Kottai by Gokul Seshadri. It is a well researched and written historical fiction, in Tamil, that is set in the late 900s, that talks about the ascend of the Chozha kingdom to its zenith. The story spans two books, 1200 pages, 120 chapters, at least 24 major characters and 5-6 plots all interlinked and complicated. This clearly is the Tamil version of Game Of Thrones, without the sadistic killing off, rape, flogging and plunder. And with the end of every chapter, I utter an ‘urrrrrrghhhhhh, can’t the stupid people(stupid people = the other characters who speak loudly when the shattering secret is being told) be quiet?’ And I push my bed time(people who know me, know how precious and unwavering my bed time is 🙂 ) to read one more chapter to see how much more is being unraveled. And after that it is rinse repeat, read the next chapter, so on and so forth.

As usual I have notes, bubble diagrams, character wikis and the thirst to get to the bottom of it all.

The style of writing is very similar to Kalki’s. The author is the narrator, jumping back and forth from one point to another both in space and time, revealing bit by bit how and something happened when it happened. Though the narration style is similar to that of Kalki and the book starts off where Kalki left off in his Ponniyin Selvan, the point of view in Cherar Kottai is much more balanced coming from Gokul.

While reading Ponniyin Selvan, Kalki has you completely convinced that the Chozhas are the good guys and are deserving of the throne. You, as a reader become champions of AruL Mozhi and Vandhiya Thevan. You are one step away from booing Pandiya Aabathudhavis. Though you sympathize with Nadini and at times are stumped by the complexity of her character, you are firmly rooted in Kundhavai’s camp.

In Cherar Kottai, Gokul through his meticulous research has presented how from 600BC till up to the 17th century, South India has bounced between the Pandiya Dynasty and the Chozha Dynasty, with an exception of the 600 hundred years under the Pallava Dynasty. Even under the Pallava rule, the Pandyas, unlike the Chozhas, did manage to hold on strongly to the Southern sections. So you start off with the Ponniyin Selvan impression, cheering for AruL Mozhi and slowly you start seeing things from the Pandiya point of view also. Though personally AruL Mozhi or Sadayanaar do not crave for a war, killing and displacement of homes, they realize that many times history is larger than an individual and his desires!

Gokul also talks in detail about the socio political structure of South India and how differently it evolved in each kingdom. The Cheras seem to have adopted a much more democratic set up since the 8th or 9th century. The Chozhas were a monarchy with the King at the top of the pyramid. The Pandiyas were some where in between with 5 people from the same family ruling the country, sharing their power, so that at any point of time there was always one Pandiya of age to rule!

The next thing that Gokul takes us through without stressing it, but becomes apparent as the story unravels is how RICH the country was, with trade between China, Singapore, Malay, Middle East flourishing. How there were multiple busy ports, customs, departments and divisions supporting this. Though it has been hinted how some foreign traders try to gain the favors of the kings so that they can retain exclusive trading rights, the annihilation seems to have started only when the Europeans set foot in our country! (If you haven’t already, read this. It is extremely depressing though.)

And the co-existence of multiple religions! Though the Kings themselves belonged to a certain faith, they still seemed to act secular. Especially Mahendra Varma Pallavar, Narashimha Varma Pallavar and majority of the Chozha/Chera/Pandiya kings. Gokul points to the existence of multiple monasteries sanctioned by Ashoka himself and by Ashoka’s son Mahinda while traveling parts of South India. Different stone inscriptions found at the ports indicate that a fair number of monks came all the way from Afghanistan, China and South East Asia to worship at these monasteries and how the rulers had budget allocation to care for the visiting monks. The story in multiple places, based on historical evidences, touches upon, how AruL Mozhi Varman, though a hard core Shaivite, looks at Buddhism as a way of life and supports the monasteries. But the very same monasteries were deemed ‘unsafe (as they are very old)’ by the Christian missionaries in the 1800s and were demolished. And how the sculptures from the monasteries that date back to at least 2BC carried off to various European palaces and museums!

I am only done with part#1. I still have part#2 which is another 600 pages spread over 60 chapters. But I just HAD to take a breather and let the world know about my excitement over this book. If you can read Tamil, buy, borrow, beg, steal, but do read.

Resolution right after moving homes: W.I.L.L N.E.V.E.R B.U.Y B.O.O.K.S.
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After 5 min: Ok, Will not buy books for another 5 years. No, no, 2 years. Ok, for the rest of the year. This is FINAL.

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After buying Devapriya Roy and Saurav Jha’s  Heat And Dust Project kindle book: E-books do not count. I can still move homes and not bother with the packing, unpacking and organization. The spirit of the resolution still stands.
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After buying Anjali Raghbeer’s Art Tales From India series: Sigh! New resolutions to not make resolutions about not buying books.

And the culprits are:

A Bird Came Down the Walk By Emily Dickinson

-You name your kitchen knives(Mine are Bread’sBane, SharpBastard and TheUnfit, just in case you are curious).

-You Google recipes for black bread and lemon cakes.

-You set up a snack of cheese, olives, bread fried in garlic butter and boiled eggs for your children.

-You develop an unhealthy appetite for all kinds of soup and you think about serving them SFO clam chowder style.

-You Google GOT TV series pictures to get inspiration for kurti designs.

-You read,
‘Irri and Jhiqui were waiting to brush the tangles from her hair and garb her as befit the Queen of Mereen in a Ghiscari tokar. The garment was a clumsy thing, a long loose shapeless sheet that had to be wound around her hips and under an arm and over a shoulder, its dangling fringes carefully layered and displayed. Wound too loose, it was like to fall off; wound too tight, it would tangle, trip and bind. Even wound properly, the token required its wearer to hold it in place with the left hand. Walking in a token demanded small, mincing steps and exquisite balance, lest one tread upon those heavy trailing fringes.’, and you wonder if GRRM is describing a saree and if you can post it for the #100sareepact on FB.

-You crave a long hot soak in a tub.

-You ask your children if they want to take horse riding lessons.

-You consider getting a dragon tattoo (and promptly drop the idea).