20 Jul 2007
Hubby takes on trip and I beat it to death! But I couldn’t help but writing about how the kids reacted.
Hubby did make it a point to tell the two girls in detail that he was going away for 8 days and that the girls must not trouble me. Chula(toddler) was her usual self – ignored him(reasoning – what I don’t hear does not exist). Mieja(infant) blew raspberries on his face and covered him with saliva. He did kiss them good night and tell them that he will be on a plane when they wakeup the next day morning.
Chula( was the first to wake up – she came running to me): Where did daddy go mommy?
(Her lips were turned down, palms turned up, fingers fanned, she kept asking the question again and again.)
Me:Appa has gone to India, to attend his niece’s wedding.
Chula:Yesh mommy. I know. Appa gone in Sindhapures. Appa going to Switzerland, see Ashu. Then appa go to Anna Nadhal to see thatha, patti, P chithi.
(Sindhapures – Singapore airlines. Every since our trip to India in Sigapore airlines plane, it is used as a common generalization to denote airplane. Hubby was going via Hong Kong and Singapore. But she added the Switzerland and visiting Ashu, just for the heck of it. Three weeks back baby Ashu had bid bye bye to Chula and went back to Switzerland on a plane, so any one who travels by plane, according to Chula, goes to Switzerland, meets Ashu and then travels to their final destination! Thatha+patti+P chithi are my parents and my chithi. In India she met them and had a fun time, so thatha, patti and P chithi are one single entity for all practical purposes. Anna Nadhal is Anna Nagar where my parents live. )
Having said all this she went and stood by the window peeping out. When I asked her what she was doing she said that she was playing peek-a-boo with her father. Every evening father and daughters have a ritual, they would go to the back yard, water the plants, kiss the flowers, smell the grass, pluck the vegetables and what not. So in the evening Chula’s internal clock started ticking and she ran to the window every few minutes peeking through it looking for her dad. When I tried telling her that her father was in India, I got the same answer, “Yesh mommy. I know. Appa gone in Sindhapures……meet Ashu…Anna Nadhal…thatha+patti+P chithi.”. She knew that hubby was gone, but didn’t have the concept of time or distance. She was thinking that he will be back by evening as usual! For the 8 days, every male figure she met, she called them daddy.
Today we took the girls to hubby’s office for the family day celebrations. We car pooled from a common place. So I dropped off hubby next to his car, we were planning to drive back home in our respective vehicles. Chula lost it. She thought that her father was leaving her again. She started screaming, kicking and crying out loud for her dad. She cried so hard that she threw up all over herself. Hubby suggested over the cell phone that we pull over and switch Chula to his car and I refused. She surely will throw a bigger fit that I ran away some where and will enact another throw up session. Bottom line she still feels insecure about her father’s trip.
Chula put it in words, poor Mieja couldn’t. She woke and was quite surprised that I changed her diaper. Then she wriggled out of my hold and went around the whole house. She paused in front of every closed door and proceeded to pound it with her little fist uttering, ‘paaa’. She would wait for a minute and continue pounding the door. Every time she heard the door bell ring or a door squeaking open, she would squeal with laughter and run to the front door, squat in front of the door with her lips set in a smile showing off her bunny teeth. She would wait for a minute, then she would get up and slowly walk away.
13 Responses for "Where did daddy go mommy?"
Why does seeing something in print always get one more emotional than seeing it in person? Or maybe i have a way of imagining everythng very emotional or you have a way with writing.. I am not imaginative.. So looks like you win!
omg! so much reaction from the two!! Meija’s was heartbreaking 🙁 I was this the first time he was gone so long? everyone on a plane stopping to see Ashu was funny 🙂
Awww. That’s really heartbreaking. Esp. Chula saying the same line again n her cute toddler lisp. And Meija going Paa…awww
Poor babies! Ashu says Chulas name all the time. Yesterday I prepped her all day that we are going to meet her friend S. And then I ask her in all excited tone “Whom are we going to meet” and she expectantly says “Chula?” And lately she has been saying “Oh Nein” a lot, German for Oh No! Dont know where she picked it up from (probably dora or noddy I guess!) so I asked her, who says “Oh Nein” Ashu and she replies “Chula”! 🙂
BTW, you know how Ashu behaves when theres no Daddy. According to her, if someone leaves her, it means they are gone FOREVER and she never expects them to come back! 😉 So it was heart warming to read Chiula and Miejas accounts.
Yadayada, thanks. But you are right, a memory is very powerful when captured in words!
K’s mom, yes. This was the first time hubby went away for long(according to the children) time.
Tharini, it was sad. But, like I mentioned in Poppin’s moms blog, children need to experience small losses as they grow up. It kind of toughens them up.
Boo, it will be interesting to see how long they remember each other! Since Ashu does not believe in long distance relationships, I thought that she would have forgotten Chul and Mieja. I am surprised! May be she forgets adults but remembers her peers?!! Would be interesting to observe and test this theory out? Don’t you think?
tagged you
Oh poor babies! It really affects them so much more than we realise. Moppet howls every morning when he says good bye to go to work, and usually runs straight back to the loo and knocks, as if hoping he will magically reappear from there! 🙂
Swati, I now have two tags on judgemental!
Moppet’s mom isn’t that interesting how the children have a few strong memories and stick to them even if is against logic!
Oops!! My parents took my kids for a week to chennai..and except looking at our photos and saying amma…appa…they haven’t complained much!!!! Now you tell me what it means!!! (Well, amma did say that they would fidget at night at times and suddenly cry for no reason, its hard to say if they were missing us a quarter as much as we were missing them!)
Poor little things…..it’s so hard for them to comprehend absences of many days.I’m sure Daddy missed them a lot too, but at least he knew where they were:)
Everything okay Utbt? Been a looong time since an updte from you. I can imagine how terrifically busy u must be juggling all that u do. Write soon. You’re missed.
You haven’t posted the reaction o the girls when dad came back! Do that soon girl! I’m sure they would haev been ecstatic!
Diplai, NM, I thought of doing a post on the girls reaction. But every reference I make about the trip makes hubby feel guilty. So I decided not to. The younger one, I took her to the airport to pick up hubby. She squealed and wanted to be carried by him. She licked him all over the face. The older one walked in, looked at him and behaved as if nothing happened. For a couple of hours she behaved as if he had never left. Then she ignored him, then she was shy for some time. She is still coming to terms!
Leave a reply