The Message Given To This Generation
Author: utbt14 Jun 2010
If you take a higher level perspective, you can make sense of the message given to every generation.
The message is not given by one single source. For that matter it is not even ‘explicitly given’.
The message kids now a days are getting is SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT.
It is not ‘if you work hard, you will get this’ or ‘this is a privilege, but it has been made possible for you’, just plain sense of you deserve the world and beyond.
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading...
18 Responses for "The Message Given To This Generation"
Something that crosses my mind often. But I feel that the parents are more at fault here.
You are so right that it is not ‘explicitly given’… so, how did this train of thought come by?
The “entitlement” that kids feel is directly due to the parenting style in vogue these days.
The internal feelings that dominate (even define) the mindsets of a majority of today’s parents are inadequacy and guilt. Also a strong feeling that we are not as good as prior generations of parents (mostly brought upon by unrealistic and impractical expectations from self). To amke matters worse, parents today are keenly aware of the extreme competition out there for everything – and don’t want their child(ren) to miss out on anything.
The net result is that we hesitate to discipline children, provide them far more than the “basics” and are mostly comfortable with the “treat the kid as a friend” model
Can’t blame the kids for feeling entitled to everything
as reva and PV said. cant blame the kids.
couldn’t agree more with PV and reva ….
So, when was your Aha moment on this?
UTBT SAYS:
Not just one aha-moment. In general I was thinking what is the message we are conveying to the kids. Also something I notice, the ‘But I need it’ whine. I was thinking nothing is a want any more, every single thing has to be a need. One thing lead to another and hence the brilliant deduction.
I am certainly not blaming the kids. Also I don’t think it is entirely the parents. We as a society are progressing in this direction.
The bigger/wider message my parents were given was – ‘You live for others – for your parents, for your children. You are not just you, you are a mere entity in the collective. Have no expectations what so ever.’
The message I received was, ‘If you work hard, you can improve your lifestyle.’
So, it is my personal opinion that we as parents are under the impression that our hard working times are over and right now we are reaping the benefits. We have a certain life style and that is base line the kids get started off with. The parental guilt also plays a part, but is secondary. It comes in later, because of the lack of time(translates to spending lesser time with kids) and the feeling of inadequacy caused by the whole guessing game one plays while parenting.
Why do I think, we as a society are progressing to give children this message?
We buy things constantly. But how much of this stuff is going to last a life time? Do we get a TV thinking that we will live with this TV for another 25 years? Absolutely not. The unspoken message is, ‘This TV till the next digital innovation is available at an affordable price’. We get electronics so cheap that it makes sense for us to throw it out rather than to fix it if it does not work. Children now a days constantly take in this messages and end up thinking that buy=>use a few times=>throw=>move on to the next.
Add to this the nuclear family life style, marketers targeting kids directly, unfulfilled early dependency needs etc.
To be quite specific, sense of entitlement has always been there in humans. But the age at which it appears has been pushed forward that we now see it in our children.
Just some thoughts running around in my head.
Well said UTBT.
Also, if you wanted to demonstrate that the life we lead is not to be taken for granted, its easier in India than it was say in London. Just looking around here seems to point to the fact that life isn’t necessarily all hunky-dory. This has been my experience.
You have really said this very well UTBT !!
The point about our generation believing that we are “entitled” for this of kind of life style because we worked “hard” for it combined with the guilt / societal pressure is really driving a wrong message.
You know, this “I need this” and not “I want this” is very specific to the US kids, and those in India who have been exposed to US kind of life. Not trying to be condescending, but caretakers, teachers, etc. in the US tend to use these words. I have seen it in my few years out there. We didn’t have A then, so we haven’t experienced it. But I had friends with kids who have. It is just like “I love ___” is used to encompass junk food, games, books, parents, everything.
Although you are right about the sense of entitlement that this generation has, and yes, I agree that to a large extent we parents are the culprit.
Sandhya: want vs need, like vs love. Food for thought.
All: Thanks for participating.
Totally agree with everybody here.
We definitely cannot blame the kids. There is not much parents can do either. Times are different. But, we can definitely encourage ‘you-do-not-need-everything-you-want’ concept. They might want it but it is our responsibility to teach them that they do not need it even if it is affordable.
I volunteer for an NGO that run an orphanage. Had one time taken my older kid along (who to be fair has not been much of a ‘I want more’ kid ever. She was astonished to find how happy the kids were. She became friends with some of the girls her age and spent a day with them. They showed her their ‘treasures’ (a hand-me-down toy or two) and my daughter came and told me – now I know why they are so happy, they don’t have much to worry about.
UTBT, would you please elaborate on “unfulfilled early dependency needs”? Did you mean parental bonding and associated issues? We can take it outside this comment forum if you think it’ll start a flame war. I’m curious because it’s something i’ve been thinking about recently.
Telugumom, this is just a line of thought I had. I still need to think in order to get clarity on this, in the meanwhile, I posted it just to think aloud and see how it resonates with others. So other than thanking you for taking the time to read and comment, I do not have anything else to say at this point of time.
Chox, that is quite an experience that you facilitated for your older child. She sounds like a sweet heart.
Kaapi, I sent you an email with a question and my perspective. Looking fwd to the offline discussion.
Chox, I love how your older one has put it 🙂
Utbt, I really enjoyed reading everyone’s views here. I agree that as a generation we have become more susceptible to the throw-away culture.. gone are the days when one proudly displays a watch or a pen that he or she has had for 2 decades and more!
My parents denied themselves anything that was above their basic needs. They just bucketed all of that under ‘luxury’ and it was some kinda sin to give in to luxury! I would not want myself to go back to that – I still want to be able to enjoy the things I can, but at the same time maintain a balance. I know it is confusing because each person’s definition of want/need/luxury is different. Eod, I feel that the parents need to set an example for reduce/reuse and recycle and try to make children understand the ‘value’ of the things they get.
I tend to agree with your observation.
The times influence our everayday life and this unsaid messge is forwarded without being spoken of. Here the older generation complain about the amount of freedom kids get and the lack of discipline and all. Which all reflects the same, the way we the present genetration of parents want to raise our kids. But, I do not wish to see everything as negative. If the sense of entitelment is also combined with the sense of responsibility, I don’t see anything wrong in the message.
though I need to add that by the time our kids will be grown up they will be facing harder times than us in many ways, I feel so. They may actually become more responsible than us parents. Time will tell..
Reva, it is not possible for us to fall back in to the same life style our parents lead. Balance, yes it is the key and children learn by modeling rather than by theory.
PG, my opinion differs. By no way, I am finding fault with your comment. I am just expressing my point of view. Entitlement and responsibility do not mix. Responsibility comes with a sense of privilege. And yes, they will face tough times, because they are lead to believe that they are entitled to anything under the sun and beyond. In the real world they get disappointed.
Leave a reply