18 Aug 2007
With Chula, I did everything for her. Well, hubby did change his share of diapers. But it is the other things like feeding, bathing, entertaining, bed time routines etc. But with two kids and with the other commitments hubby and self have settled in to dividing and conquering. Every morning, he changes diapers, brushes their teeth and gives them a shower. On the days when I have to leave early for a class or a meeting, he feeds them breakfast, braids Chula hair and drops them off at school. A month back I was off for a language workshop and he had to take the girls to a baby shower. At the party, he did have the help of a couple whom, for all practical purposes are Godparents to the girls. But he got them ready all by his own – which by no means is slight task. He fed them, packed their diaper bag, gave them a shower, dressed them up in silk pavadais, braided Chula’s hair and even decked them with sandhu pottu(the Shringar liquid kumkums) that matched their dress! They looked so adorable.
Last Tuesday, I had a 9.30 meeting. I finished feeding the kids and was getting Mieja’s lunch ready. Hubby was giving Mieja a bath and I went in to the bathroom to hand over Mieja’s towel to hubby. There he was sitting on the tub holding a mug of water. Little Mieja was squatting in the bath tub, clutching the side of the tub, showing her baby soft, naked back to my hubby, with turmeric all over her face, a yellow rubber duckie in her hand. She was singing some random song, grinning and looking….oh so cute. Hubby and Mieja looked so happy and complacent – it is one of those moments that would stay plastered in my mind for quite some time. Something that when I recall, would put a smile on my lips and a little bit of guilt and jealously in my heart.
9 Responses for "Whats life without a little guilt?"
Why the guilt? Actually I feel that husbands in general (Desi I mean) are much more helpful and involved with domestic chores in the US than in India. It is the only side-effect of my moving back to India 🙂
DH used to be involved a lot with poppin’s care before (and I was a SAHM at that time) and now not so much when I could actually use more help 🙁 He figures that there are enough people to help me here and that I just want him to work hard 🙂
Don’t think I understand the guilt? Why?
It sure was a cute scene to picture tho, and I was just imagining how they both looked in thier pattu pavadai, with the pottu and everything.
Guilt is because I was doing EVERYTHING for Chula. With Meija, there are so many things that I want to do for her but not able to 🙁
Well dear , moms are also human after all. Instead of guilty , feel blessed 🙂
finally, documented proof that shows that men actually contribute something, anything! Women usually refuse to acknowledge this fact in public..
just kidding..
🙂
Sundar: Men don’t contribute anything?! Not true, atleast not in my house hold. One thing I have learnt in eight years of marriage – ‘if I want help, I have to ASK for it’! Ofcourse there are brief momets of insanity(in both huby and self) when such enligtenments are forgotten, things are said, deeds are done and later regretted 🙂
Swati, I sure do feel blessed.
a second child is a truly humbling expereince. you cannot devote the time and energy that you could with the first but they are turn out okay and perhaps in some ways hardier than the first ones. you then realise that kids can thrive despite you and not because of you!
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