So we are M.A.D about fairies at home…..

Rainbow Magic series, thanks to the recommendation of the lovely ladies at SaffronTree, has served us well. One thing that Meija seems to have nailed down is that there can be fairies for everything and every occasion. She goes around the house, doing whatever she is doing, mumbling

Sopa the soap fairy
Slippera the slipper fairy
Marmala the marmalade fairy
Pencila the pencil fairy
Lunchella the lunch fairy
Sandella the sandbox fairy

….you get the idea.

Cut. Scene change.

I was on the phone requesting the husband to make a quick stop at Target, on his way back from work, to pick up some much needed feminine products. I gave him a bunch of keywords to narrow down what to choose and what new fairy we have at home?

Overa the overnight fairy.

Questions. Of course there are always questions…

Why do I need protection in the night?
Am I going to be attacked by some kind of monster?
How exactly her Appa is arranging for my protection?

Now some one please explain to me, how a child can totally glaze over/ignore/fail to notice/do her own thing for specific, in the face (this I mean quite literally), direct, instructions about cleaning up, finish her food, get ready for school in time etc, but can absorb a vague conversation on the phone and introduce it in her pretend play?

Theorem I: It is easy to fool your child.
Theorem II: In the circle of life, you are the real fool.

I am on the couch reading a book. Mieja is walking around the house with a cup of milk. I see her walk in to the bedroom. I hear a thump sound, a ‘gluck’ sound and there is an ominous silence. I am still on the couch, but I say, ‘Get the cleaning rag and clean up the spilled milk please.’ She comes running to me and says, ‘How did you know that I spilled the milk?’ I put on my most serious look and say, ‘I can see through walls. No matter where you are, what you are doing, I know exactly what is going on.’

Fast forward a few weeks.

I am in the kitchen cooking. I am calling Mieja. I am just trying to locate her and find out what she is doing. There is no reply. I do not want to drop what I am doing and run around the house. So I repeat her name enough number of times to compose an ashtotharam. Finally I give up, walk to the child and ask why she did not respond. She says, ‘But why Amma? You can see through walls, so I thought you can see where I am and what I am doing.’

….every single thing went wrong.

At least that is what I thought initially.

Every year, in our school we celebrate United Nations day with much gusto. Kids practice for couple of weeks. We make a list of countries every one of the 150+ children represents. They come dressed in the traditional costume of that country, sing a song for each country, place the country’s flag on the world map etc. Parents bring a meal and it is a huge potluck with at least 300-400 plates served.

This being the kindergarten year Chula had a part. So naturally I was pumped. Even before the school year began, I declared in the staff meeting that I am planning to take UN day off and attend as a parent. R was supposed ordered to come for the celebration.

Two days back R said that he has an important meeting scheduled and cannot make it to the celebration. Okay, at least I am going, I thought. My first sub cancelled and I had to find a second sub. I did and took a deep breath. On the day of the celebration, I found out one of my two colleagues had a serious emergency and will not be coming to school. As much as I was sorry for her, I was devastated because we will be out of ratio if I stepped out of the room. So I called R and told him that he has to do what ever he has to do and be at school to record the celebration. So R decided to work from home and attend the meeting through phone. Problem solved? Apparently not. He calls 15 min later and says that there is a power cut in our area and his working from home is not going to fly after all. So we decided to bundle up our class children and take them out to watch the celebrations. We got them dressed, booted and jacketed and went out 10 min after the celebrations started. Just as I was getting my breath back, it started to drizzle. How can we have our class out in the rain? But it so happened that one of our children went home with his mom, we were in ratio, my other two colleagues took the eight we had inside the room and I got to stay outside.

As I was recapping this out of ratio – in ratio, can go-can’t go status changes and madness that followed, in my head, I was thinking about the kind hearts at work today.

The colleague who had the emergency and had to take the day off, called in early morning and asked our receptionist to personally apologize to me. For her to think of me even when she was in great sorrow? I was touched. Then my other colleague and my sub, who came up with a plan and managed the class when I was outside attending the event. Though we were in legal ratio, we have two new children and two babies. I can only imagine the exhausting work they must have endured when I was outside enjoying my daughters. Not to mention, R’s meeting was cancelled in the last minute and he was also able to make it.

Now tell me gentle reader, ain’t I blessed?! Some where up there some one is looking out for me 🙂 As this thought floats through my mind the kids chant Gandhi’s peace prayer.

I OFFER YOU PEACE.

I OFFER YOU LOVE.

I OFFER YOU FRIENDSHIP.

I HEAR YOUR CRY.

I SEE YOUR BEAUTY.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

MY WISDOM FLOWS FROM A HIGHER SOURCE.

I SALUTE THAT SOURCE IN YOU.

LET US WORK TOGETHER.

Can’t help but dedicate this post for the people who felt my pain and worked together to help me.

I don’t watch TV very much. It is not that I am opposed to TV. Every night for the past few years, the ritual has been unaltered. The girls are in bed, I clean up. R and I settle on the couch to catch up on TV. I get my fluffy pillow, my cozy blanket, put my legs on R’s lap and get ready to watch TV. But invariably, within 20 min, I am asleep.

Sat/Sun are slightly better, I can manage an hour of TV before my eyes seal shut. But there are some gems that I catch before I drift off. I often find myself pondering over the snippets. Just wanted to share the gyaan with you all.

Michael J Fox in The Late Show With David Letterman

“There’s a difference between acceptance and resignation. I’ve accepted that this is my situation, but I’m not resigned that it has to be that way always.“

Star Trek Next Generation, Episode: The Host

Governor Leka Trion: Listening is a skill which seems to have evaporated with the heat of argument.

Riker Odan: Speak softly, Governor. Those who cannot hear an angry shout may strain to hear a whisper.

Current favs at home: The Mentalist, Star Trek Next Generation, Monk, The Late Show, Daily Show, Colbert Report, Top Chef, Next Food Network Star, Next Iron Chef, The Great Food Race.

I can confidently say that I have watched the first 15 min of most of these shows.

I have five more SummerFun posts, but my digital camera stopped focusing for some reason and I am struggling to get good pictures from the phone. So I am taking a small break from the SummerFun posts. Meanwhile at UTBTville…..

Ten days back, R left for a three week trip to India. He visualized the girls coming to airport and giving him a grand send off with plenty of hugs and kisses. But both C and M backed out the very last minute and all he got was me. After he walked in to security, I waved bye and guess what I stumbled in to?! The SFMOMA store at the airport. No strings attached, I mean it quite literally, I spent an hour just drooling over the things they had. R called just before he boarded the flight and was taken aback that I was still at the airport. Even key words such as budget, quality, unique etc did not put him at ease. After ten years of marriage he knows that we both have our own definitions about budget, quality and unique.

My SFMOMA find was Charley Harper. His art was simple, symmetrical, precise, balanced, brought some kind of order to my slightly obsessive compulsive brain and made me wonder if Sanjay Patel was inspired by Charley Harper. There were a whole bunch of alphabet books and counting books based on his prints. I can see myself purchasing the books for my classroom. The color yourself Charley Harper calendar, I would love to implement a DYI version at home.

I bought two board books for my classroom, Kangaroos Have Joeys by Phillipa-Alys Browne and Matisse Dance With Joy. Both were on sale for under ten dollars and I couldn’t resist.

For Chula and Mieja I bought….

Go Fish Art Card Game

Hypotrochoid Art Set

50 Optical Illusion Cards

The hypotrochoid art set is such a hit. The girls mixed and matched gears and covered stacks of papers with hypotrochoids. Chula loves the Go Fish art games. Half the time she just sits and stares at the cards. They haven’t caught on with the optical illusions. They think I am seeing things and give me odd looks.

The things drooled over….

A Book Of Sleep	Wire Bloom, wire clips	Foldable Flower Vase
Memo Holder	Magnetic Key Holder	Magnetic Rings
Wine Tote	Magnetic Flower Vase	Flowing Mobile
Silicone Place Mat	Stapler	Magnetic Paper Clip Holder

Window shopping is so much fun!!

In one of her emails PV said

“Your book shelves are so cute and inviting – drooled over the arrangement and the collections – please tell me that you have a cozy nook with bean bags, comfy chairs and soft rugs with a bay window close by to the bookshelves and coffee-on-demand (brewed by the better half while you are busy reading)”

At that time I did not have a dedicated reading area. Its been a long time dream to establish an art space and reading spaces at home. PV’s email kind of got me started. Considering the space limitation, I decided to focus on one thing and do it well. Reading space won ( and I settled for organizing the art material ). This summer, I did some shopping, rearranging and ta-da…… presenting reading spaces on a budget.

Look at the pictures and tell me what you think. If you guys have reading spaces at home that you love, do write about it, post pictures and leave a comment. I would like to take a virtual tour and use the inspiration for the future.

Sandhya tagged me for unwomanly behavior.

Does gender define me?

Yes. Big time. Right from childhood if I think back. I am the only girl child born to parents who had clear expectations who married in to a family which had crystal clear expectations of me and my role. I must say that I haven’t done much to send shock waves through the family.

I have always been dolled up. My mother loves to choose clothes for me. Even yesterday, she picked out what I wore. Occasionally my MIL/SIL does it for me. I love to dress up. I loved the chutti, nathu, pullakku, false hair, flowers decoration, kasu malai, ottiyanam traditional ensemble  I was in for my wedding. I loved it so much that I felt bad that if I try doing that any time any where again it will be over the top. I jumped with joy that I could do a repeat of it for my seemandham, without making people roll their eyes and enjoyed every moment of it. I like beauty parlours and such. Not much the make up part, I just like the idea of being pampered. My favorite colors turquoise blue and baby pink, in that order, in the whole wide world.

The role of gender has always intrigued me and made me write this post three years back. I think that we are all ardhanaris basically, with varying degrees depending on nurture and exposure.

My actions, at this point in my life are divided in to

-comes naturally to me

-love to do, so I will put my life on hold to do it.

-hate it/tolerate it, but do it anyway because life has to go on.

-will NEVER do it, no matter what.

The best part is, R is the same way too. So there are no major combats at home.

I love to make things, be it crafting or building furniture or dishing out fancy stuff from my kitchen. All the furniture in my house are assembled by me. Of course they come with instructions, but when I open a box of furniture, things kind of click and snap in my mind. Once to calm down, I locked myself in the girls room and spent two hours assembling the two newly bought chest of drawers. When I came out of the room, I was Buddha(for five whole minutes adds R 🙂 ).

I painted the inside of my house. This was three years back with a 1 year old and a 2.5 year old. Picked colors, spent couple of hours every night prepping the room, covering furniture, get up next day, cooked for the day, painted like there is no tomorrow and packed up by the end of the day. Four days like this. I partly cribbed but mostly loved what I did.

I made the inside of two of our bedroom closets. There was provision for just hanging clothes and I wanted some kind of system where I can get more storage within the limited space and a tight budget. So I bought 12 feet wire shelves, hack-sawed it in Home Depot parking lot, loaded it in to the car, drilled and  hammered till the shelves were done.

I get vague ideas for a display shelf or a picture frame. I take my sketch to Home Depot early the next day(6.30AM – 7.30AM on Sat mornings works best) and consult with the guys to implement my idea effectively. Not all the ideas were super hits, but I like the adrenaline rush involved in the whole process. I probably would be wearing pink shoes, pink sweats, waving my pink cellphone and sporting a pink hand bag during the entire process. But who cares?

Planned an almost around the world trip from US to Tanzania to India and back to the US. Realized first hand how painful it is to make cost effective safari and hiking arrangements in a distant continent. All along there was this uncertainty if the tour operator is legitimate. When we landed in Tanzania and my tour operator did show up, I hugged him and almost cried.

While in Tanzania, we roughed it out on the mountain for five days, without shower or a bathroom. Perfectly cool with pit stops. Without any hesitation, will drop everything including the kids to do the hike again.

I have a record of  fighting with my teachers. In school, I once told my PT teacher that she was wrong, I was right and asked her to apologize to me. This was in the assembly hall, in front of an audience. I did not get apology, but got pure hell over the next few months I was in that school. While in college, while in an association meeting, asked the professor in charge to put his cigarette down. Proceeded to tell him that he is killing himself. Four words, ‘Did not go well’. Two years back, I fought for my grades with my Childhood and Culture course professor. We had different opinions, she made me redo one midterm and two research papers and then while arguing about the final paper, she said, ‘Something something a B grade is not bad. Something something all Asians are very sensitive about their grade. Think about it.’ I said, that I do not want to think about B because, I am A material. Not because I am Asian, but because I work hard for it and I deserve it. Proceeded to give her a mini lecture. Yes, I did get an A in that course.

Except for people, I kill all living things under my care. None of the house plants have survived past a month. They sense my presence and commit slow painful suicide.

I am horrible taking care of sick people, even my own kids. I am okay the first two days, then I undergo sudden transformation from Florence Nightingale to grinding teeth.

I have high tolerance for physical pain.

I cannot sing, dance, handle a needle, do kolam, string flowers even to save my life. Absolutely don’t planning on doing any of the above. I am the spiritual one, but not always religious and regular about lighting lamps and saying my daily prayers. Of late I am developing a strong aversion to anything domestic – cooking, dish washing, cloth washing and the likes of it. May be it is a phase, may be it will pass, but I don’t know.

Meanwhile R is there watering my house plants, secretly suffering his long spells of cold, giving tylenol to kids in the middle of the night, toiling in the garden, taking care of the fish and whatever pet I drag home, washing dishes and cooking an occasional dinner while I am buried in my end of the term papers, dressing up the girls for social engagements in pattu pavdai+matching jewellery+color coordinated bindhis(the girls are very particular, so I know how tough it is) while I am busy attending my weekend language development workshops, supporting my friday fasts,  and picking up loose ends, if any. All this without making fuss about roles and with only the girls(three including me 🙂 ) in mind.

Mieja: Where is my period?

Chula: You don’t even have periods.

Mieja: (In a teasing voice)May be I don’t need periods. (Calling out to me)Ammaaaaa, can you tell me about my periods??

Meanwhile, said mother is fainting in the kitchen. She quickly pulls herself together and runs out to investigate.

The children point to the birthday card they are making and ask her where to put ‘full stop’ in their birthday message.

Yesterday evening, while Chula was writing a poem (* don’t ask *), Mieja and I were rolling on the bed and having a conversation, which lead to an interview. I jumped right ahead, proper journalist style with pen and paper. She played along with her trademark, ‘Um…..um…..um’ and checked ever so frequently, ‘Did you write that down?’, ‘Did I say four already?’, ‘Make sure you get the right spelling, okay?’

Name four of your favorite activities

• Painting
• Plucking flowers
• Playing in the swimming pool
• Sledding in the snow

(If you ask me, dropping coins has to figure some where in this list. Electronics items have been unsuspecting casualties for her coin dropping. Things that have been damaged include, but not limited to CD player in car, music keyboard, slot for memory card in appa’s laptop.)

Name four of your favorite books.

• Princess baby
• Dora goes to the beach
• Fancy Nancy
• James and the giant peach

Name four of your favorite foods

• Plain white rice
• Keerai
• Broccoli
• Cauliflower

(Except for plain rice, the other things were news to me.)

Name four of your favorite TV shows

• Super why
• Sid the science kid
• Dora
• Strawberry shortcake

Name four of your favorite colors

• Violet
• Indigo
• Green
• Yellow

Name four of your favorite songs

• Adungada from Pokkiri
• Excuse Me from Kandasamy
• Allegra from Kandasamy
• Sollamal Solluvaan from Kandasamy

Name four of your favorite games

• Hi-Ho cherrio
• Candyland
• Smatch
• Go fish

Name four of your favorite animals

• Elephant
• Giraffe
• Tiger
• Lion

Name four of your favorite things to do with appa and amma

• Watch TV
• Making a picture for amma
• Making a book for appa
• Buying flowers for amma.

Name four of your favorite things to do with akka

• Blowing bubbles
• Swim
• Drawing with side walk chalk
• Having a picnic lunch/dinner

“Involve the kids in everyday activities.”

Whoever said this did not have kids, that I can be sure of.

It works well in a school setting. I have scrubbed chairs, watered plants, gardened, done nature walks – all with kids. But a home is not as structured as a school. There are certain things that are a routine like loading/unloading the dishwasher, line drying the clothes, folding laundry and putting it away. We do these jobs together. At times when I am making dishes like soup, sandwich, cookie, cake etc, I involve kids. There have been days on which I have made them sit at the kitchen table with a slice of bread to butter or a tomato to be chopped or a cube of cheese to be grated, even if I am not using any of the above in my dish, just to get them out of my hair.

The thing about involving kids is that it needs some degree of planning. One must know the steps in order to delegate. Even better, the delegator must have done the chore at least once(with the delegatee in mind) in order to comprehend the exact skills essential to complete the chore.

Do you want to know what is even more difficult than delegating to kids? It is a mother delegating to siblings who are close in age. Imagine child1 and child2 sitting in their respective carseats all strapped up. After reaching the destination, child1 wants to take child2’s seatbelt off and the mother agrees. Child2 is deeply insulted. She wants to take child1’s seat belt off. So the mother comes up with the solution where child1 takes her seatbelt off, then takes child2’s seatbelt off and gets on to her carseat and straps herself. Child2 now proceeds to take child1’s seat belt off, every one is happy, calamity avoided. But hell no, the children being highly skilled torture specialists come up with the supreme question of who goes first. Now the mother has two choices, to bang her head on the steering wheel hard enough to do some damage to her brain or to calmly tell her children that this is an egg and chicken problem in which she does NOT want to be involved and walk away. Trust me, they do come up with some creative solutions, because they are clear that the enemy is not the sister but the parent and when the parent is not involved, they do tend to save their energy.

PS: This is not an isolated incident. All chores are now viewed by the children as ‘Why can’t I do that?’, ‘Why can’t I do it ALL BY MYSELF?’, ‘How else can I show off to my sibling?’, ‘Are there any other ways to establish MY territory?’.

PPS: The mother is secretly anguishing over the fact that  she was stupid enough to read to the children that the free tiger trial issue of  GloAdventurers where it describes in detail how tigers establish their territory by peeing. She is hoping that they do not connect two and two, end up with twenty two and pee all over the house.

PPPS: Double thumbs up to GloAdventurers. Do try them.