Archive for the ‘Humor For The Day’ Category

Potty Humor

Am I done with the language development series? Honest answer, I don’t know if I will be done with any of the series posts I do. As the children grow, I find something interesting to add. But this post has been in my mind for a long time now and potty humor is one of the important stages of language development and humor development in children, so I have to record it.

Some time around two, children realize that words are not just sounds that come out of us, but they are powerful tools. They realize that what they say, and at times what they don’t say, can affect the environment around them. You hear your child using the word NO a gazillion times? That is the indicator that the child has made this connection in her brain.

Some time around four, at least that is what some books say, but I started noticing this phenomenon in our household when Chula was 3 years, may be because of the mixed age school setting….where was I? Yes, some time around four, children notice that some words cause unusual behavior in others. These are called impact words. A child says these words and the environment does not respond, but it reacts. The young child senses the unrest and unease these words cause. Even if she gets the literal meaning, she has no clue why in the world the adults are making such a big deal of fuss about it. Some example of impact words are poo-poo, pee-pee, other potty related words, words that signify private body parts, words related to death and violence etc.

3 year old Chula used to say poo-poo or pee-pee and she would burst in a fit of giggles. This was the girl who still couldn’t differentiate between a good smell and a disgusting smell. So she must be clearly copying the older kids at school. By four years and a few months, she totally got the concept of disgusting/offensive/unpleasant, so I was hoping that she would outgrow this phase by 4.5 years or so.

But I did not take in to account Mieja, who is 18 months younger to Chula. When Chula entered this phase, Mieja was 1.5. She echoed her sister and giggled. She being the clown that she is purposefully repeated potty words to get her older sister to giggle. Now Chula who is supposed to have outgrown this phase, is still locked down to this phase because Mieja is smack in the middle of that phase. The girls feed off of each other and there is perpetual giggling going on.

I did what is sensible. I was mildly amused at first and ignored it later. I do not want to sound like a fuddy-duddy, but if your children sat in a restaurant and sang a top pitch chorus, to the tune of Old McDonald had a farm

“Maran thatha poo-poo paar,
pee-pee, poo-poo-pee.
Avar pannayil yirukkum pasuvinai paar
pee-pee, poo-poo-pee.
Ange poo-poo, yinge pee-pee…”

Won’t you be embarrassed? We are talking about the Saravana Bhanvan in the Bay Area and almost every one knows Tamil.

(The poem roughly translates to, “Look at Maran grandpa’s poo-poo, look at the cow in his farm, look at the poo-poo, there is poop there and pee here….” Now, I would like to say that we do not know or have a Maran grandpa. He is a fictitious character and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. In their Tamil school, to inspire the children they have a set of Tamil rhymes to the tune of catchy English rhymes. And yes the rhyme has affected them deeply.)

So ground rule#1 was quickly concocted by the parents and was thrown out, ‘No potty talk at the dining table’, which was closely followed by rule#2 ‘No potty talk in front of company’. Now, as a parent, it is a tough job to set limits and ground rules. Because one must not over react and make a rule of everything, then your child will not follow any rule. Or if you try ignoring everything, then once again you will be faced with the scenario of your child not following any rule. So one has to make rules only when you know that the rule will fly and you will never know if a rule will fly unless you make a rule of it. Complicated stuff, I say! Potty talk = offensive talk = socially unacceptable being purely an adult concept, is not very successful at home, I have to admit. So currently, the adults are the only ones who follow it at home.

One bright sunny day, Chula very properly told me, ‘Amma, I understand that poo-poo and pee-pee talk upsets you. So Mieja and me will not do that any more.’ I was in seventh heaven, naturally, not because potty talk was abandoned, but because of the sincerity with which she approached me and the maturity she portrayed, but I was duly grounded when she finished her statement with, “We have a new word. FART.” And ran off singing, ‘FART, FART, FART, FART, FART, F, F….’ of course to the tune of A,B,C,D,E,F,G….

Mieja: Amma, AG says they call it gusu in their house.
{Yes, there is a whole army of tomorrow’s good citizens out there discussing such important stuff.}
Chula: R says gas. Gas is a English word Mieja. What language is gusu?
Mieja: Well, AG speaks Tamil. So gusu must be Tamil.
Chula: Really amma? {She stops mid sentence, because she instantly recognizes the look on my face. So turns and whispers to her sister}, We will ask our Tamil teachers in Tamil school.
Mieja: Yes, teachers know everything. We can ask M what it is in Spanish and J what it is in Chinese.

Mieja even made observations like, ‘When children make gas we make a sound ‘pa-da-pa-da’ and we all laugh. Then we say ‘excuse me’. When adults do it, we can’t hear it, but we can smell it. They do not say excuse me.’

So unless you are prepared to face the question,‘So….. how do you say fart in your language?’ avoid our house for the next few years.

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Lost in Translation 1

The few mainstream movies Chula and Mieja have seen are Dasavatharam, Sound of music, Lion King, Hornton hears a who and Finding Nemo. Only Sound of music has earned the children’s approval. Chula, of all people cries and screams that she is scared.
Me: (Before bed time, I was pointing to a DVD R and I were planning on watching)These movies(regular Hindi/Tamil/English) are only for adults. It might be scary for you. So we watch it after you and your sister go to bed.

Lost in translation: Chula goes to school and tells her teachers, “My mom and my dad put my sister and me in bed and watch adult only movies.”

Silver lining, as some one pointed out, at least it wasn’t, “we all watch adult only movies as a family.”

With this humorous note, adieu 2009 and welcome 2010.

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New Addition To Our Family

It is a boy.

Yes, it is. Chula and Mieja have named him Harry, thanks to all the Harry Potter stories I tell them. In fact I am surprised they didn’t want to call him Hagrid, because Hagrid is their true love.

Okay more about Harry. He is red. He is a beta. He swims in his gallon tank with blue stones and a fake plant. He eats his own fish food flakes. Oh I forgot, Harry is temporary.  He is the school pet and we are taking care of him during winter break.

This Harry fella seems to be an extremely lazy character. He is A.L.W.A.Y.S sleeping. I mean the dope doesn’t even eat the pinch of fish food flakes we give him every couple of days. I say it is laziness purely from the  boy factor. If I put a fish couch in that fish bowl, he would happily roll in it. But R begs to differ. He says Harry is ‘dull’ because Harry is constipated. Yes, you all heard me right. ‘Beta can become constipated from dried fish flakes and must be fed freeze dried blood worms’ says Google-baba. So R is pushing for freeze dried blood worms. Oh, boy R is getting a little too attached to Harry. May be he thinks Harry being a boy and all will some how restore the estrogen <-> testosterone balance in the house.

R has taken up the duty of feeding and cleaning Harry. Today morning while cleaning the tank, R says, “I don’t want to dump the dirty water from the tank in to the toilet. If Harry falls in to the toilet, we have to get him before he swims away and it might be tough.” I had to set him right by telling him that if Harry falls in to the toilet, we flush him down and get a new red beta from PETCO and name him Harry and if there are plans of diving in to the toilet there is no ‘WE’ involved.

Chula and Mieja thought that Harry would come swimming to the glass wall of the fish tank and kiss their finger tips from the other side of the fish tank. Now they are getting a grasp of reality. They look at the tank, prod it, tap it and exclaim, “Oh, Harry you are still alive??! Were you sleeping?” and get on with their lives.

So folks, put your hands together for Harry Belldrin Tomas (hm-hm, hm-hm, hm-hm, that is what the girls have christened him) and I am hoping Harry does not die on me, not when I am “taking care” of him.

PS: So……. how many of you fell for the ‘New addition’ post title?

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Never Ending….

This has a lot of Tamil content which will be lost in translation. Serious apologies for the non-tamil.

When I was a kid, I remember playing with my friends:

Gopala…Yen Sir ->Yenge pore? ->Kadaikku poren ->Yenna vaanga? ->Roti vaanga ->Yenna roti? ->Bun-roti ->Yenna bun? ->Tea bun ->Yena tea? ->Chakra tea ->Yenna chakaram? ->Vandi chakkaram ->Yenna vandi? ->Mattu vandi ->Yenna madu?…………..

…..and so it goes.

I remember another version, the beginning of which I don’t remember. But it goes something like this…

…Upma ->Yenna uppu? ->Kal uppu ->Yenna kal? ->Ma kal ->Yenna ma? ->Teacher amma ->Yenna teacher? ->Kanakku teacher ->Yena kanakku? ->Veetu Kanakku ->Yenna veedu? ->Maadi veedu ->Yenna maadi? -> Mottai maadi -> Yenna mottai? ->Pazhani mottai.

Basically there are many versions, but the idea is to keep the answer tied to the previous question and forming the basis for the next question. Sort of like word play.

Why this sudden nostalgia? The resident three year old A.K.A Ms.Pipi Longstockings(will tweet later on why this nick) A.K.A Mieja who is a hybrid of why-why girl and the never ending story girl has taken to a never ending loop of questions.

On a regular day this is how it goes:

Amma what are you doing?

I am eating.

What are you eating?

Breakfast.

What breakfast?

Upma?

What upma?

Aval upma.

What is aval?

Beaten rice. Poha.<I explain the whole process of making aval. But all the words I use have clearly circumvented the head, none other than the first two words have entered in to the ear of the said child.>

Why do they beat the rice?

To make aval.

What do you do with the aval?

I make upma.

What do you do with the upma?

I eat it.

For???

Breakfast or for a snack.

Amma, what are you eating?

At which point I am singing in my head “Devuda devuda ezhumalai devuda, chooduda chooduda yindha pakkam chooduda……” Inside my head because I am afraid of questions like what is devuda? What is chooduda? Why are you singing that song? What does that mean?………

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Starving People Of Afghanistan

(This is part 1 of 3)

Mieja neatly polished off the entire plate of ribbon pakoda, masala peanuts, maida biscuits I made for Diwali, in record time. This is a child who will stare at food on plate for days together and claim that she didn’t eat it because the food was not her friend. So I was naturally surprised and as a reflex I checked under the table. Finding no eatable of any kind stashed under the table, I asked her, with my eyebrows raised, “Oh, wow, you finished everything!” I had already offended the said child by looking under the table. So she replies to me in a very condescending tone, “Yes amma. We don’t waste food. Do you know people in Afghanistan are starving? They don’t have any kind of food to eat.”

Why Afghanistan? Will do a post on that later.(Part 2 of 3)

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Thanks To Halloween

Conversation I

Chula: Amma, I am Princess Leia.
{Since I always hear about Cinderella-Binderella types, I am surprised she said Leia.}
Me: Who is Leia?
Chula: She is a princess.
Me: OK. Where did you hear about her?
Chula: E told me.
Me: Hmmm. Where is she from?
Chula: She is from Star Horse. E told me.
{She is nodding her knowingly.}
Me: Star HORSE? What is that?
Chula: It is a game that E plays with his sister and mamma and daddy.
Me: I see. Tell me about this Leia from Star Horse.
Chula: She is a princess. She gets very sick and she dies. Then her mommy comes looking for her and she plays with her mommy.
Me: Plays with her mommy? I thought she died already?
Chula: *Sighs*. Ammmmaa, she is not real. It is some one else’s imagination.

Conversation II

We are leaving to school on the day before Halloween. Chula is a butterfly and Mieja is a ladybug. We are late and I am on my millionth instruction for them to sit down and put their seat belts on.

Mieja: Amma, what are you dressed as?
Me: Seat belt.
Mieja: Amma, you don’t have a costume?
Me: SEATBELT NOW.
Chula: Oh, baby she is dressed as herself. She is she. Don’t you see?
Mieja: Yeah!! And she is scary when she screams.
Me: Uh….. *what the hell?! I am standing right here, have some courtesy girls*

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If I Were In Harry Potter…

HP

…I would be Ron. Wanting to be something, but having no clue as to what the what is, waiting for something to happen instead of making it happen, dreaming of becoming famous without putting in the required hard work, always behind some one stronger, procrastinating under the pretext of waiting for inspiration, can catch a ball only by luck, buckling under pressure, rarely achieving and reliving the few rare achievements to eternity, putting action before thought.

If want to be like someone in Harry Potter, I would like to be Luna Lovegood. For her unfailing optimism, ability to find the truth no matter how jaded it is, telling the right thing to the right person at the right time (well…. except for the curmple-horned-snorkack bit), loving her dear ones, being totally secure about who she is.

Now, if you are going to think “What in the world is going on with her?”, I am just being my worst critic. Not feeling disillusioned or dispirited. Other than serious Harry Potter withdrawal symptoms, mental health well with in desired spectrum folks 🙂

If you feel up to it, indulge me folks.
Take it up as a tag.
Include the HP logo in your post.
Write about whom you currently identify with in Harry Potter.
Write about who you would like to be.

HP

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Nicks

Tharini started a tag on nicks. I took it up, but didn’t come up with anything ground breaking.

Of late, Chula has been using lots of nicks with us.

Her favorite is to call herself Cinderella, her sister Snow White and me witch. Thanks girl, I just feel so fulfilled.

She was gifted with a set of Strawberry Shortcake books for her first birthday. Over the two years, she has grown quite attached to the books and the characters in the book. She likes to think of herself as Strawberry Shortcake. So she has named the rest of us at home around the other characters. Her sister’s name is Apple Dumpling, I am Angel Cake, her father is Huckleberry Pie and my amma is Ginger Snap. In short we are Strawberry, Apple, Angel, Pie and Ginger.

Today morning she delivered the ‘cherry of all nicks’. She called her sister, ‘my dear baby compost’ and I am all like, ‘Huh? Did you just call your sister compost?’. Apparently I heard her right and she was even able to give the correct meaning for compost. Now, why on Earth?

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‘I am too old amma’ – Chula

‘I am too old amma’ – Chula.

I asked Chula, how old she is and ‘I am too old amma’ was her reply.
Of course she meant ‘I am two old’ aka, ‘I am two years old’. 🙂

She is in to telling everyone’s age. ‘I am too old. Mieja is one old. Amma is three old’. I laughed and said, ‘Baby, amma is too old to be three.’ So she is now in to investigating how old I am. This is how it goes:

‘Amma, are you three old?’
Noooo.
‘Amma, are you four old?’
Noooo.
‘Amma are you five old?’
Noooo.
And it goes on….. 🙂

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!!She Remembers!!

This post refers to two ‘she’s – toddler and the infant.

Let us start with toddler.
Intro: When we went to India 3.5 months back, I picked up couple of Curious George books and a Bob the builder book from the library and used these books to ‘contain’ her in the plane. The books were duly returned after we returned from motherland. There was no mention of the books, what so ever after that.

Today: This day will go down in history as the day I fainted in the library.
Toddler is hating home. She would do anything to not go home. The minute I pick her from day care it is, ‘Amma, no go home amma, no go home’. So I took up hubby’s idea and took her to the library, which is three blocks away from our house, instead of coming home. To make it interesting for her, I made her bike to the library. I walked along with her, infant in the baby carrier, guiding toddler and shoving the carton of chocolate milk in to her mouth every now and then.

Toddler was quite hyper, she kept chirping,’We all going to the libllalee amma?’ every few minutes, ran to the children’s section, and started browsing. I was busy huffing and puffing from the walk. Toddler gives me a book and says, ‘Hele amma, have CG goes to school. You have it amma’. I was still not paying attention. I thought that she is mentioning any CG book by the CG book she already read. I grab the book and before depositing it in my bag see that it IS CG goes to school! I froze. Then she picks up another CG and hands it to me, ‘Hele amma, have CG costume palty’ and it IS the right title. Then she also picked out Bob the builder’s birthday party book. She can’t read(…..I think). She must have remembered the books from 3.5 months back! If with my simple memory I could remember the silly things that happened 8 years back (and pick fight with hubby, “that’s what you said on Jan 31, 1999. I know what you meant”), what does this girl have in store for me???? I fainted.

Now to infant.
When she has her heart set on something, no army can stop her. She wanted to grab some one else’s key. The other lady distracted her, jingled the keys here and there and with a ‘Kaka ush’(Meaning: the crow took it and flew away) hid it behind her. Infant smiled wide and pitter pattered to the lady’s back and found the keys. I jumped to the rescue, distracted her squeaky with toys while other lady put her keys in her purse. Infant played with the squeaky toy for 5 whole minutes, threw the toy away and made a bee line for the table on which perched the purse which contained the keys, as if she was the one who put the keys in there! And here I am always seen with a piece of paper and pencil because I have to jot down every single thought that pops in my mind because a small distraction and I forget the while thread!

PS: Now that infant is walking strong and steady, asserting her presence with tantrums, preferences and wisdom(?!) that would put teenager to shame, I am obligated to promote her from infant-dom to toddler-dom. So there will be new nicknames for the kids. How is the PS connected to the post? Who said that it was? I just wanted to put my thoughts in writing before I forgot.

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