Folks, for a long time I wanted my own domain.
www.utbtkids.com (Powered by wordpress OF COURSE. Nothing else for me. No thank you.)

For one reason, it would give me lots of flexibility in terms of space, style, kinds of files I upload and share.

So suggest me cool, FREE(yes, important criteria) WP themes. I have been looking at stuff till my eyes have begged me to stop and came up with absolutely nothing.

My specs are:

I plan to move by the end of April – beginning of May.

You all know what this means right?! I will be putting up advertisements to break even with the cost of domain name and hosting.

Objective: To potty train Mieja.
Plan: Start on a weekend. She is not even two, so might take approximately the whole of summer.
Note to self: Be PATIENT. She is just a baby.

Operation commenced on: April 5th, Saturday.
Statistics at the end of the first day: The patio had to be washed at the end of the day. We ran out of all the 8 Gerber cloth training underpants. The clothes dryer had to be switched on as the sun wasn’t drying the clothes fast enough.
Mommy mood-o-meter: She is never going to potty train.
Note to self: Be PATIENT. She is just a baby.

Observations on day two: Candidate expressed interest to sit on potty for the sole reason of flushing, using the toilet paper and washing hands. The time she sat on the potty became a joke. It kept decreasing and by the end of the day, the bum would touch the potty seat for just one millionth of a second. She kept repeating the tear-wipe-throw-flush sequence till the toilet paper roll was over. Same with the hand washing. No significant improvement.
Mommy mood-o-meter: With all that paper the toilet is going to get clogged. She is never going to potty train.
Note to self: Be PATIENT. She is just a baby.

Results of observation from day3-present: Here by I present to you all a fully potty trained Mieja….TA-DA.

Every time she has to go, she goes in the pot. But every time she says she has to go, she does not go. On a good day, she says ‘pee-pee’ approximately 45 times out of which she goes 8-10 times. Add the fact that she says baby as ‘peepy’, which I end up thinking is ‘pee-pee’.

KEY NOTE TO JINX MONSTER: KEEP AWAY.

I have no idea how it happened. May be she has been observing her sister do it and was ready all along. The first two days were just initial novelty and then she was on track!

Anyway, she surprised me couple of days back. Both the bathrooms were occupied and she wanted to use the potty. So I strapped a diaper on her and explained that this is an exception. She can do her business in the diaper. She simply refused. She understood what I said, but refused. She said, ‘Peeee Peee. Only in the puuuty’ and with that resolution held on for a few minutes. Then she started running from this bathroom to that, knocking on the door, first demanding the people to come out and then she was in the verge of tears, ‘Peee Peee, peas. Appa peas.’ Poor thing. Finally after what seemed like an eternity in toddler time, she was able to get access to the pot.

Now, I don’t know if I am prepared to handle two girls who are fairly recently potty trained/training. Before every time we step out, we do a potty round. As soon as we reach our destination we do another round. In between that there are numerous false alarms. In the 45 minutes we are in a restaurant, we have to visit the restroom at least four times. 🙁

All the words mean hundred in Tamil, English, Spanish, Italian and German.

That is the number of posts in my blog.

Yes, a celebratory post. 100 posts and the other thing I am celebrating, 10 days early though, is my one year blog-anniversary. 2007, April 22 was the date I published my first post.

As I am typing this post, I only have 98 posts in my blog and if I publish this particular post, it will be the 99th post. But today was such a nice day and I couldn’t contain myself. What the heck? I decided to type my 100th post right now and my 99th post a while later.

What was so good about today? I don’t know, some days just have the right feel about them. The kids still took their own sweet time to finish their breakfast and did have their little squabbles, the husband and myself did snap at each other a couple of times. But over all I feel pretty uppity today!

The best part of the day, the kids did some gardening with their dad – all the summer vegetables are now planted. Hubby toiled, gave instructions and managed the little critters pretty efficiently. Chula did followed directions really well. Mieja walked behind hubby and engaged in pulling out the plants that were just planted. Some how we gave her a small, empty watering can and asked her to water the plants. So she walked around all the plants talking to them, ‘Hele, WAADEL. Paant, hele WAADEL’. I just hanged around shooting pictures and videos. So we all did our part 🙂

Now to some stats.

Number of posts = 100
Number of comments = 875
Total views = 34,805
Views today = 172
Best day ever = 393 views, Mar 27, 2008, Thurs

Top three posts
Indian Mythology – A Child’s Perspective – 698 views
(Also my very first post and my favorite post.)
Sexualization Of Young Children – 635 views
Surviving Chicken Pox – 561 views

BTW, people who come to my blog using these google search terms, you scare me.
I would elaborate on certain questions I have about these search terms, but thanks to Google(!@#$%^%), I would attract more of these people like a magnet.

Its been a great ride so far guys.

Oh, you know what this means right? Lurkers leave a comment and identify yourself.

Chula: Amma, I want to be a princess.
(Meaning, she wants to wear her silk skirt – pattu pavadai)

Chula, looks at me wearing a yellow saree and exclaims, ‘Wow amma. You are a yellow princess.’

Chula: Amma, I am a princess.

Chula commenting about something: Amma, this is so beautiful, just like a princess.

At school, Chula’s friend’s mom says ‘hi’ to Chula. Chula shyly moves away, she wants nothing to do with this lady, she is hiding behind me with her face stuck to my back. But the minute the lady remarks, ‘Wow, look at you. You are all dressed up, just like a princess’, she immediately gravitates to the lady, sits on her lap and starts a conversation. The transformation was so abrupt that it made my jaw drop in shock.

Even little Mieja uses the P-word frequently. “I want pisses”. (Pisses = Princess)

All this is troubles me. In the past, I have ignored it, I have acknowledged it, I have denied it. I have no problem with princesses/princes/fantasy play/fairly tales. I believe that the purpose of fairy tales is to provide children with emotional sustenance. The original stories have messages about valor, values and highlight the qualities that bring an individual close to greatness. What I don’t like is today’s trend of throwing the original message in to dumps and focusing only on the external appearance. Most young girls are strongly attracted to qualities like fair, pure, serene. So today’s princesses commercial market projects ONLY beauty.

I know that hate is a strong word, but I have no qualms using it in this context. I hate the way the princess image is plastered in to these little minds. I hate the way so much unspoken message is given through these blond hair and blue eyed princess. I strongly hate the pathetic attempts at cultural sensitivity by introducing Jasmine, Pocahontas and Mulan. They are as inappropriate and out of context as the tan skinned, saree-wearing Barbies that are marketed in India. Have any one read the capsule version of Snow White/Beauty And The Beast/Cinderella? In order to present the story in a jiffy, most of the essential symbolism is trimmed down and the end product is five pages of absolute injustice to children’s literature, which sabotages the minds of young girls in to thinking that they ‘need’ prince charming to save them.

Some one needs to tell these kids that appearance does not make a princess, but it is the great human qualities and inner beauty counts. How about telling these kids about Joan of Arc or the Jhansi Rani Lakshmi Bai?

So in the past I have ignored the P-word. I have also denied it. But now, I am slowly learning to accept it. The reason is, the more I resist it, the more enticing it is going to sound to Chula and Mieja. We have princess stuff in moderation at home. (Okay, okay, we have one princess lunch bag and one Snow White storybook. Well, something is better than nothing.) Whenever they want to play with the lunch bag or the story read to them, I oblige. But the Snow White story I read to them is MY version. Where Snow White’s ‘happy go lucky/making the best out of the situation she is in’ attitude is highlighted. And Chula strongly believes that ‘the prince’ who saves Snow White is her father. (‘Amma, appa is taking good care of Snow White’. Yay! Sexist message is taken care of.)

Any ways, when ever I hear the P-word in association with external appearance, I keep reiterating that princess-ness (my audacity for coining new words is purely derived from my inability to pick the right word from the million words that already exist in English language) does not come from the clothes, that she is a princess all the time, because she is loving, lovable and intelligent. And that’s what makes a princess.

Edited to add: United they stand, Divided they fall. Thanks Balaji making me put my finger on something that I have started doing subconsciously. I break the princesses by names. It is Cinderella, Snow White..( and others…Dang, I first need a princess101 ). It gives the ‘Princesses’ certain human-ness. The generality just gives them more mystery and unapproachability. Reference by name gives the message that they are human beings, fantasy but still human.

My mom is from a big family. She has one older brother and four younger sisters. My aunts and uncle put together I have 6 cousins on my mother’s side. My dad has one older brother, one older sister and one younger sister. Again, 6 cousins from my father’s side. But there is a messy family politics(MUCH messier in my mother’ side than my father’s side) involved, in to which I choose not to dwell. Inspite of having shared the same womb, same blood, the extent to which the siblings would go to spite one another was something that scared (or should I say scarred) me for life. Through out school life, I missed having a sibling around. When you really want something, life has a way of giving it you. In my case, life gave me four( 3 + 1*) great friends. You know the coolest part? I could share good feelings, my sorrows, without having to share material things. Yippeee! Every thing has a silver lining folks, E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G 🙂

Chula and Mieja 15 months apart and being the same sex, one doubt I had in my mind was – these girls are going to be competing for the same resources for the rest of their lives. That scared me. I do not want them to nurse grudges and let jealousy ruin their relationship.

One of my attempt to foster attachment is I try to make them communicate directly. For instance, if Mieja wants something, like a bottle opened, to be read a picture book, opening an umbrella and if I think Chula can handle it, I tell Mieja to ask her elder sister. Pretty soon, when Mieja can do more things, I plan to extend this role mutually (because I think 15 month old difference is too little to establish the older sibling – younger sibling hierarchy). So far Chula has obliged and is pleased as plum when she is being asked for help.

As a result of all this, I think Mieja thinks Chula is MUCH older than her. The other day Chula wanted me to read a book like her teacher (meaning, me sitting on a chair and read the book as if some one would read a book to a big group as opposed to our regular reading sessions in which both the children are piled up on my lap). Mieja walked in and tried to climb on my lap. I gently nudged her and pointed to the floor and asked her to sit on the floor, otherwise she will not be able to see the book. She immediately went and sat on Chula’s lap! Chula gladly indulged, ‘Oh baby. I can’t see. Here sit like this, now we both can see. Okay?’ That was totally cute 🙂

Another thing I have started doing, during bath time(which is common for the girls), I ask them each two questions. ‘What was that one good thing you did for your Chula/Mieja today?’, ‘What was that your Chula/Mieja did today, made you very happy?’

Chula invariably answers, ‘Amma, I scrub my sister’ or ‘I read a book for Mieja’ for the first question. For the second it is always, ‘Amma, Mieja came to my school to pick me up. I was so happy to see her.’

So far Mieja, being the Villupattu specialist she is, simply repeats the last word of her sister’s most recent statement. ‘I chub. I chub. Watuul.’, ‘Chula kool….’

Will they grow up to be good friends inspite of their differences? Only time can tell. Meanwhile, I am determined to do my best.

PS
*Boo, some how the ‘little sister’ image is plastered to my mind and hence I leave you out whenever I talk about friends. But you know what? Sisters can/must be friends. That’s what I expect from my girls. So from now on it is official, I have four great friends.

When we talk about children’s growth phases, ages two – seven years are called the pre-operational child, the phase before a child can become fully operational. The child is learning a lot of things. Language develops, she is learning to see other’s point of views. They learn symbolism and grasp abstract concepts. A child might behave in a manner that one might think ‘selfish’, but it is not. A behavior can be defined as selfish only when a person is fully capable of analyzing different point of views and prefer to do something that works best for them, even if it means inconveniencing the rest of the world. A child, before the age of seven cannot fully comprehend a situation, simply does not have the cognitive development to do so. She sees the world through HER eyes. Just because she thinks that she must have the toy, she thinks that every one around her, younger and older, think the same – that SHE must have the toy! A phrase called ‘egocentric’ was coined for this kind of behavior. Every one at some point of time would have noticed their child refer to herself in third person, for example Chula/Mieja saying ‘Chula/Mieja wants this.’ This is a perfect example of egocentrism. Many times I have noticed Chula/Mieja sitting in front of me, having some book facing them. They would point to the book and ask me what it is. It does not occur to them that I am sitting in front of them, not next to them and hence cannot see the book, but only the front cover of the book. In their little minds they truly believe that the whole world sees what they see. Egocentrism is not a bad thing just because the phrase ego is a part of it. Only when a child fully, completely understands her point of view, she can understand others point of views.

Couple of Wednesdays back hubby had a meeting and I was faced with the monumental task of getting both the children ready, drop them off at their respective school/day care and get to work, all before 8.30AM. This is how the dinning table conversations went.

Me: Chula, Mieja, appa has to go to work early. So I want your full co-operation. Okay?

Chula: Amma, where is appa?

Me: Appa is at work. Eat your cereal.

Chula: Amma, I want Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.

Me: Okay, I will read the book. But you must keep eating. Otherwise we will be late. If you stop eating, I will stop reading.

Mieja: Amma, I want markul.(markers for coloring)

Me: Kanamma, we are reading a book now. We focus on one thing at a time. Now see what is going to happen to the alphabets. {Shoving the next spoon of cereal in to the child’s mouth.}

Chula: Amma, I want to read it.

Me: Yes, after you finish your cereal. Because if you can’t read when you are eating. Remember you have to finish eating soon, otherwise we will be late.

Mieja: Amma, I want thee thee.

Me: Songs are for the evening. Now it is cereal time.

Mieja: I want ‘a – ba – ca – da’ song….

Me: Not now….

Chula: {But Chula has already started singing}…aa – ba – ca – da – e – fa – ga….

Me: Okay, akka is singing it right. Eat as you listen to the song.

So it just kept coming back to the same thing. I was on my one track mind, trying to get the kids strapped, loaded and ready to be dropped by a certain time and the kids where in their own world, which had no place words like co-operation, understanding, more importantly ‘TIME’. Hmmp.

As an adult, I still was in my own egocentric world. How can I expect the children not to do that? So I picked up the phone, called my work and left a message that I will be late and can come only between 9.00AM – 9.15AM as opposed to my regular time.

We all finished breakfast without any pressure, tears or drama and left for our respective destinations. Oh, btw, I reached work at 8.45. I was only 15 min late, as opposed my initial estimate of 45 minutes late. Its amazing how things roll smoothly once the pressure is off! Life is good. 🙂

Three weeks back there was a girl scouts event in our local Indian Community Center. As a (dormant) Tamil language teacher I was asked to come by and help out. The event was a tourist approach to introduce India to upper elementary and middle school children. They had several booths and one of it was a language booth. My role was to write the kids names in Tamil in a post card so that the kids can post the card to any one/anywhere.

What would I do if I get a post card from some one I know, with a script I can’t read? I would assume that this person I know is unloading some kind of abuse on me. To save the unknown reader from that confusion, I wrote the name in Tamil, with a postscript in English that says ‘name written in Tamil – a language spoken in the southern part of India’.

There I was sitting and writing names like Dobyns and Cassandra in Tamil. Initially there was a confusion if I must use ‘sha’ or ‘sa’ what with the former one considered Tamil and the later one considered grantha(adapted from sanskrit). Since I wasn’t claiming to be an authority in Tamil and I wasn’t writing a book, I decided to cut some slack for myself. Hey, I HAD to use other grantha letters like ‘Ha’ , otherwise how can I write Higgins?

Then came the confusion of splitting the name in to syllables vs sounding out the names and writing the sounds I hear in Tamil. I mean English is a very confusing language. For example take the word ‘house’. I can say ‘h+ou+se’. Or I can sound out the word, in which case I say ‘h’, ‘a’, ‘u’, ‘s’ sounds.

At this point the name was already disfigured.

Add to this the accent. I grew up thinking that Donald was ‘Do-nal-du’. Only when I watched KamalHassan (in Tamil movie Vasool Raaja MBBS) did that dim, tube light lit up in my head, ‘Hey that is Donald’. I was a good 28 years of age by then.

Coming back, the name was severely mutilated and the Tamil too. Because every language has rules as to what letters can go together and what cannot. I had a set of no-no letters sitting together that would make my Maragatham miss(my 10th std Tamil teacher) come after me with a whip.

Yesterday, my Development of Language and Literacy in Young Child class addressed this. Apparently there is something called phonemic awareness and something else called phonetic awareness. Phonetics is the sound of letters, which we normally use to read and mostly to spell. Phonemic awareness has nothing to do with letter sounds, it just deals with how a young child hears a word and splits it in her head. As a result the phonemic spelling of a word might be something completely bizarre like the way I spelled house earlier (haus). Children mostly move from the phonemic stage to spelling the words correctly unconsciously it seems. Doesn’t your respect for toddler brain just grow leaps and bounds? Mine did.

Speaking about learning English, how did you learn English? I have been raking my mind to see if I can remember how I learnt English and I can’t come up with anything. I can say one things for sure, I wasn’t taught phonics/phonemes/morphology/etymology or any other -ology. For a long time I thought phonics has something to do with the telephone. When Chula’s leap frog phonics bus said, ‘A says a, A says AA’, I went ‘huh?’. Few memories I have that is associated with learning a language (any language)

At age 5: Telling my father, ‘Appa, don’t say FatherR. Don’t say DaughteR. Say Father, daughter’ and my father still teases me for it.

Also at age 5: Remembering my English teacher say that we have to speak only in English in school and at home. That is the only way to be better in English. Then a young naive me coming back home and speaking ONLY in English and getting teased to death by dear family members.

At age 4: Remember learning to read Tamil by reading Dhina Thandhi.

PS:

Now, at home, I consciously speak in Tamil, try read Tamil books. This is both for the benefit of the kids and my benefit. Ain’t life funny?! In just 25 years life spins a 180, that makes one do the complete opposite.

Why must English be so confusing? Like the wise KamalHassan asked in ‘Oru Kaidhiyin Diary’, why is put not rhyming with but though only the first letter is different? Why do we say but as ‘bat’ and bat as ‘baat’? I can go on and on. But I leave you with a link to a post by nm that was timed superbly with what was going on in my mind.

A couple more posts on Language Development to follow(over a period of time 🙂 ) and hence the ‘I’ in the title.

Chula talk in bold, Mieja talk in italics.

Amma I want starwberries.
Amma, chabely amma.

Its okay baby.
Kis ok baby.

(Singing)Who wants to do it? Follow, follow me…
To wans a toowin, to wans a toowin. Fomo fommo me….

No bath amma.
No path. No path. No path. No path. No path. No path.

I want to play outside.
Ppplayousie.

My turn.
Mi tun.

You get the idea.

Mieja just hangs around every single word uttered by Chula. She copies, imitates and repeats verbatim whatever Chula says.

And of all the things,*Rolling my eyes*, Chula taught Mieja she taught her to say ‘poo-poo-butt’. Yes, she TAUGHT her, ‘Baby say poo-poo-butt. Can you say it? Look at me, I will give you a lesson. Say poo-poo-butt.’ And the little one is prancing around the house repeating ‘poo-poo-butt’ at least 108 time every day. Shobana I am waiting for my turn to be embarrassed, I can almost visualize that happening.

PS
To be fair to Chula: So far the little teacher has taught the little pupil how to count till 10 in three languages (tamil, english and spanish), ABCD song(with letters and with the letter sounds), tamil vowels and a whole bunch of songs(circle time songs from her montessori). But ‘poo-poo-butt’ is the most uttered phrase.

One of the courses I am taking this quarter is Child’s Ways Of Knowing and Thinking. Yes, I can interpret why a child is behaving in the way he/she does. So far the joke is on students like us trying to break the psyche of the young child. Out there millions of children are laughing their pants off saying, ‘Yeah, now you can use technical jargon to describe the basis of our behavior. So???? You still can’t do anything about it.’

Anyways, I am digressing. There is this wonderful book called Piaget Primer, that describes using simple cartoon from Peanuts, excerpts from classics like Winnie The Pooh, Phantom Toll Booth, Alice In Wonderland and The Little Prince to describe the way the child thinks. A wonderful book, so if any of you get a chance, do thumb through it.

The book had a piece about classification and this was the cartoon that accompanied it. Had me in splits.

And this piece describes what is happening at home.

And the other day, I picked up Chula from school, she said she drew a picture of me and handed me this. ‘This is you amma. I draw you’ she said with a big smile and gleaming teeth. Presenting me ta-da…..

Never mind if the picture says George Washington 🙂

Hello, hello , hello. I just have to take matters in my own hands, otherwise things never get done. Never, like in N.E.V.E.R.

Dear readers, I am 22 months old. My amma often forgets this. She is either stuck at me being 10 months old(and treats me that way, which I totally hate) or thinks that I am already two and a half, nothing in between for her.

I like to think of my self as a mischievous little monkey, like the Kapish in Twinkle or Meera monkey from Karadi Tales. My mischief will not make you mad, but will make you hug me tight and plant kisses on my chubby cheeks. Okay, just not kisses, I also love it you blow raspberries.

A sample of my mischief. The other day I was in the library with appa (father) and akka (elder sister). Appa was checking out some books. Akka was standing next to appa, with a mesmerized look( oh, she always gets that look when she sees books) on her face. I tried calling appa a few times and he continued focusing on checking out the books with an occasional ‘Hm’. I like to be given full attention, so what do I do? Do I roll on the floor and cry. Nah, that is so old school. I just pull Chula’s pants down to her knees and run away. That got your attention, right appa? (Sorry Chula, you were just collateral damage. Don’t take it personally, okay?) Amma couldn’t control her laughter when she heard about this, but she also secretly made a mental note, never to wear sweats when I am around. I could see that in her eyes.

You have all heard about my scream-mication (screaming to communicate). Though, I occasionally scream to inflict the right amount of terror in my parents, I have come a long way. I talk!….full sentences,….and…..*drumroll*…… make conversations over the phone * 🙂 *. Last week amma was changing my diaper and was talking to patti(grand mom) over the phone. I grabbed the phone from amma and said, ‘Patti, Mieja diapuul. Numeel four diapuul. Mickey moose diapuul.’ (Grand mom, I am wearing number four mickey mouse diaper.)

I am still a very persistent child. I like my mother’s school folder and cell phone. But amma makes a big fuss. Honestly I don’t see why? Amma any ways drops her cellphone, like a 100 times. Whats the big deal if I drop it a couple of times? Regarding her school notes, I was just trying to add a child’s perspective to her assignments on child development. Any ways, she over reacts, as usual, puts the stuff away, carries me, sings and dances and tickles me. This charade goes on for 30 min and I play along. After amma is done I go back to the place where I last found the object that attracted me and look for it. I give amma that famous smile of mine, extend my hands and say, ‘thaaka’(thaanga, which means ‘give’ in english). If I sense that it is that amma means business, I add a ‘peesee’(please) to the ‘thaaka’. It is so irresistible that amma almost caves.

I am a picky eater, just like my sister. But Chula gets easily distracted if amma reads books, but not me. If I says no, then it means N.O. You can sing, dance, read books, switch the TV on, it is still N.O. Amma failed to get the message, so I drilled it home by throwing the bowl of food at the wall couple of times. Now she doesn’t even try.

I love to dance. Especially for ‘thee, thee, thee, chakka joey joey’ or ‘vaadi vaadi cd‘. There is nothing like putting on a skirt and doing my famous dabanguthu moves. My other favorite songs are the Indian rhymes for Indian kids from Karadi tales.

I like singing too. My favorite used to be ‘Jinkuwawe, Jinkuwawe, Jinku-Waaa-Weh’(Jingle bells, jingle bells jingle all the way). Last Christmas Chula sang this song in her school performance (which was conducted in the church close to Chula’s montessori school). I tried joining the chorus, but amma shushed me so hard that I stopped singing. But me being the productive person, that I am, I had to do something. So I picked up an application for membership to The Central Church of Christ from the pew and filled it up. Still waiting to hear from them if I got in to the church.

Sometimes my love for singing transcends the time factor. I wake up at the wee hours of morning (5.00AM) and sing at the top of my voice, ‘Isabella, Isabella, ISABELLA……Alara, Alara, ALARA’* and wake up all the sleepy heads in my house.

Though I like my sister when she gets all dressed up, I hug her and kiss her all over her face, I consider the few minutes before bath time as a special bonding time between us. Amma takes off all my clothes except my diaper, I run to Chula demanding that she strips down to her underpants and we make circles around the house, Chula singing, ‘5 little ducks ran up one day, over the hills and far away…..’ and run behind her shouting, ‘duckie akka, duckie akka.’

Okay, that’s a long time sitting in one place. Got to go and do some mischief. See yaa later.

Runs off singing,

‘Monkeys, we are the monkeys.
We like to sing, we like to jump
We like to romp around……’

* – At Chula’s school, they have a cool routine at circle time. They call every child’s name with music from keyboard starting from the lowest note to the highest note. This introduces the differences in the ‘do-re-mi-fa-so-la-to-do’ notes. Mieja listens to Chula singing this song at home and repeats it often.