Its been a long time since I did back to back posts on the same day. But this is an incident to be recorded here.

We are late bloomers when it comes to teething. I, as a child started speaking and then cut my first at 14 months. For the milk teeth to fall ….. it took for ever.

Chula and Meija took after me. They cut first tooth at after their first birthday. Chula is now 7.5. Ever since she read Gooney Bird Greene and the character Felicia Ann, she has been looking forward to be walking around showing off her missing teeth. Felicia Ann has two missing front teeth and cannot pronounce her S and F. Clearly that is the star attraction.

Slowly all of Chula’s friends lost their milk teeth, but our heroine was desolate, she waited for almost two years. By now, even Meija’s friends started losing the milk teeth. The child was found in front of the mirror violently shaking her teeth at every available moment.

Finally this Feb I found two buds behind the lower front incisors. Her permanents were cutting out. The wait got intense. There was more pushing, prodding, shaking and inspection. But the milk teeth stayed put. Finally the dentist announced that the milk teeth need to be extracted. The child was terrified, but calmed down the instant the dentist mentioned that she can get ice cream. The I-word  made her warm up to the extraction so much that she even offered to trade each of her pearls for an ice cream. Some how, the mention of extraction sent shivers down my spine and I was dragging my feet.

While this drama was happening and the lower  incisors were getting all the attention, the top two incisors were getting lose. It progressed so much so soon, (well, in a month, but that is quite fast in our standards) that yesterday one finally fell out. We were in a restaurant, there was a bloody mess, but it came out. Now the child is sporting a empty spot and making sentences that are alliterations beginning with S and F.

She slept with the tooth under her blanket, expecting money in exchange for her tooth. But this silly tooth fairy forgot her duties completely. Chula came out with a sullen face, almost ready to cry saying, ‘Amma, the tooth fairy…..’ and couldn’t complete her sentence. I sent her to brush her teeth saying that the tooth fairy is playing treasure hunt game with her and if she looked around the house carefully she will find her money. Before the child finished her morning ablutions, the tooth fairy was whipped in to shape and the money deposited in a secret but easy to guess spot.

When Chula found the money, this is how the conversation went:

Chula: Gasp! Amma, the tooth fairy IS real. When I found nothing under the pillow I thought either there is no tooth fairy or the tooth fairy didn’t want my tooth. But it is real. See, see I have the proof. She left me money AND let me keep my tooth!!!

Mieja: (Half awake and from the bed) Nope. It is like A says. There is no tooth fairy. It is the parents who put the money under the pillow and fool the children. Ask amma if she forgot and is making up something last minute.

This from the genius who thinks she can make diamonds at home. As I often say, this child will be the death of me.

Dinner table conversation.

I am telling a story, Meija is complaining that I am asking her to eat food. Chula is doing good.

[IN THE STORY]….. the carpenter was sad because he couldn’t find a wife. “No one wants to marry a carpenter” he said.

Chula: What about you amma?

Me: WHAT about me?

Chula: Do you like carpenters?

Me: To come on time and finish the work in the house, yes. But I am not looking to marry any one.

Chula: Because you have two naughty children and don’t want any more?

Me: No, because I already have a husband and don’t want any more.

Chula: (bursts laughing), then you will be one wife and two husbands.

Me: And who would want that torture?

Meija: Panchali, she had five husbands.

Chula: Meija. Panchali was an exception. Usually it is one man marrying many women. But usually women marry just one man.

Me: Eh?!

-Author: Anita Nair

-Illustrator: Sujasha Dasgupta

-Silver Press

-Ages 10+.

-Self readers.

-Myths/Folklore/Legends.

-Collection from through out the world.

– 31 stories. Each story not more than two pages long.

– True to the original. No sugar coating.

“Children live through their senses. Sensory experiences link the child’s exterior world with their interior, hidden, affective world. Since the natural environment is the principal source of sensory stimulation, freedom to explore and play with the outdoor environment through the senses in their own space and time is essential for healthy development of an interior life…. This type of self-activated, autonomous interaction is what we call free play. Individual children test themselves by interacting with their environment, activating their potential and reconstructing human culture. The content of the environment is a critical factor in this process. A rich, open environment will continuously present alternative choices for creative engagement. A rigid, bland environment will limit healthy growth and development of the individual or the group.”

— Richard Louv in THE LAST CHILD IN THE WOODS

Rich natural environment = sand pit or water table.
Rigid bland environment = ipad, TV.

I had a pile of books sitting at my bedside table. Waiting to be reviewed and gathering dust. Having two library memberships and working in a library added books to the pile and took away more of my time. So trying out these short reviews. See how it goes. The ones that I want to ooh and aaah, will go on SaffronTree.

A WALK BY THE SEASHORE

-Author: Caroline Arnold

-Illustrator: Freya Tanz

-Silver Press

-Ages 6 – 9.

-Self readers and read aloud.

-Non fiction.

-Science.

-Simple language. Good starter book for ocean/sea and the ecosystem around it.

-Text flows nicely, connecting the different elements well.

-Other FIRST FACT BOOKS are WALK IN THE DESERT, A WALK UP THE MOUNTAIN, A WALK IN THE WOODS.

Chula: Amma can you get me Vivel soap?

Me: Eh-What?! What soap?

Chula: Vivel amma. Remember we saw it in an advertisement in S patti’s house?

Me: Why?

Chula: So that I can become fair.

Me: You are lovely as is. Why do you need to be fair? Fairness is no indication of a healthy mind or body. It is overrated.

Chula: It is easy for you to say amma. You are fair. I am not. You won’t understand.

The way she said it and walked away, truly killed me.

At this point I have to add that that we are an ‘almost zero TV’ home. In the past one year the children would have watched less than 10 hours of TV and that too they were ad free PBS programs that we carried back from the USA.

We had a follow up conversation about how ‘fair skin’ is relative. We are all different shades of brown. All advertisements lie, if Vivel truly works, then there will not be one single dark skin person in India. This got her thinking a bit. Atleast about Vivel may not be the solution, but she still thinks that dark skin is a problem.

I would say that this started as early as her preschool where she was the minority Indian kid and was surrounded by Caucasian children. At least the head teacher would address this problem and talk to the circle about how different they all are and that is what makes them unique. But this part is sorely lacking in India. There is a craze on fair skin and it gets reiterated explicitly and subtly.

Isn’t it an irony that fair skinned people are desperately getting tanned while we are frantically bleaching ourselves?! I am sure the Unilevers and P&Gs are having afield day. I think they are the true beneficiaries of this perception they are creating.

One hour of prime time TV carries, on the average 6 fairness cream ads and 4 anti-aging cream ads. Apart from this there are four ads/hour telling women that their hair sucks, four ads/hour for men in which perfect bodied women are sprinkled liberally. That is, every 3.5 min some one trying to make you better by selling you something. Welcome to the macro culture of Des.

PS:

Some one explain this ad. Does she really say ‘I did a skin analysis and was shocked. There was anti-aging.’ Well….. if anti-aging is what they are going ga-ga about, isn’t it good news that that damn thing, what ever it is, already there even before using the product?

To all the girls out there, aging is not that scary. You need to hit 30 to understand what ‘being in control’ means.

And what in the world is this? ‘GO SLEEVELESS ON HIM’? Is this the best tag line they can come with? I am thinking even if I have to-die-for underarms, how unnatural will it be to constantly show them off? Get a reality check people.

PPS: Edited to add Preeti’s comment

“Oh and btw… in that ad, she says ” I did a skin analysis and was shocked. There were signs of aging….”

Looks like my signs of aging-> not able to hear properly. On the bright side, may be they have a cream for that!

The fruits of my womb are playing with a neighbor’s child. They are doing some drawing. I am in the kitchen. The idea is one of the three critiques the work of the other two and gives points. If you accumulate more points then you can use it….. I don’t know, somewhere. It is quite complicated, you see!

Chula: Pick me as the judge.

The other two: NO!

Chula:  Who ever picks me as the judge will get 1000 points. If you don’t  I will give less.

Neighbor’s child: Ok, you judge.

Meija: NO. You think we will get 1000 points only if you judge? I will judge my own drawing and give it 2000 points. We don’t need you.

Me: Dumbstruck.

was organized in our community.

Chula has been wanting more independence. She calmly stated that she would like to walk to and back from the bus stand/park by herself and would also take responsibility for her younger sister. ‘Amma, I am ready amma’, she said! Apart from standing in the balcony with my binoculars (ahem…., yes I do that), I thought that I need to do few more things to equip them. Starting point of which was organizing the CSA workshop for my children and for the other children in my community.

I don’t know if it is the SMJ effect, ppl were flocking to sign up. Alas, no two families have the same schedule! So many emails later, we were able to agree on a time that was convenient for at least 1/3 rd of the parents who were interested.

Viji Ganesh conducted the session for about 15 chidlren in the 6 – 10 year old age range.

Some interesting snippets from the workshop:

* VG: Can you think of some body parts, when touched by other people, make you feel uncomfortable?

Chula: (Loudly) Yes. My underarms.

(Okay, Viji, we might need a few more sessions for this one.)

* VG: When some one is giving you an uncomfortable touch, what do you do?

Child 1: Kill him?

Child 2: Hit him between the legs and run away.

Child 1: If we are next to the swimming pool, and if he does not know swimming, push him in to the water.

Child 1: Shoot him with a gun.

Child 1: If he likes chocolate, poison his chocolate and kill him.

Child 1: Touch his pressure point and he will collapse.

To me, all the killing and out of the world ideas aside, it was interesting to note that all children used HIM in association with the abuser! Viji quickly caught on to it and said, ‘adult’, can be a woman or a man, sometimes even a older child.

Viji is good. She conducts these workshops in schools as well as in communities. If you are in Hyd get in touch with her organize a session in your community or your child’s school.

Our society believes that girl children are a liability. They have always been targeted. New born girl children have been killed and abandoned for decades. Ultrasound technology has only made this worse. Girls children are being aborted as early as 20 weeks, while still in the mother’s womb. Which is less humane, no body can tell.

Many of us feel strongly for this and due to many reasons, we have been arm chair activists. Now is a chance to be an arm chair activist AND make a difference.

Arti Home For Girls is an orphanage for abandoned girls children based out of Kadappa, Andhra Pradesh. Its founder Sandhya, has been working with abandoned girls children and women forced to abort their unborn girl children for the past 20 years. She has contributed in many levels and has made a difference in the lives of more than 1000 girl children.

Arti Home is participating in the IMPACT CONTEST. Winning this contest will give many unborn children a chance of survival, women a possibility to stand up for their girl children, educational and vocational training for the abandoned girls.

Please vote and chow your support.

What to do:

– Click on the link  http://www.gwln-contest.strutta.com/entry/265634

– Right top corner will have a link to log in to FB.Give appropriate permissions for FB, if asked.

– Click on VOTE FOR THIS ENTRY.

Thanks a bunch, you have made a difference in a child’s life.